Open adoptions can be tricky, as any relationship can be. Add the complicated feelings of each member of the triad to the situation and there are potential rough spots. All relationships require work on each participant’s part and open adoptions are no different. Below are some tips that we personally have found helpful in having a successful open adoption thus far.

Communication is key. Communication is key to any relationship and open adoption is no different. Talk about your thoughts and feelings related to the adoption when appropriate.... more

Continued from part 1....

Do birth grandparents grieve too? Just as birthmothers grieve the loss of their motherhood to the children they placed for adoption, birth grandparents may feel a sense of loss and grief at times too. They also tend to grieve the loss their child (the birth parent) is experiencing too.

A Few Tips Here are a few great tips from Brenda Romanchick’s article, Can... more

When I was pregnant and making an adoption plan I didn’t really think about how my relinquishing Charlie would affect my family too. I was so busy worrying about how it would affect me, what I was loosing and would be grieving that I neglected to think about the loss my family would also feel.

In some open adoption agreements, the extended birth family is also involved. I have even heard of cases where birth grandparents are involved when a birthmother may not be ready for a relationship with her child yet.

What does birth grandparent involvement... more

Part One

After finding out the hard way that not everyone shares a new adoptive mother’s enthusiasm about her route to parenthood, I began to share less and less. At the very least I began to scrutinize a person before I shared. I had to feel them out to gage whether their response would be good or not so good.

I had to wonder if that is part of why closed adoptions were so popular years ago. Sharing sort of sets’ you up. A lot of people... more

Fellow blogger Jenna wrote a really great series about her “coming out of the closet” so to speak as a birthmother. It makes sense that presenting yourself in this little understood light can be difficult and you would expect to be unfairly judged and scrutinized. I am really glad she shared that aspect of her situation. I as well as a few others were surprised to learn that she was not always so open because she presents such a strong voice online.... more

Yesterday I shared my personal experience of dealing with having two children that are still siblings, yet separated by adoption. Today, I’d like to share some tips for those of you who may be in open adoptions dealing with this very issue of ways you can create some sort of bond between the siblings and remind them that they are still siblings.

These tips will work for either adoptive parents or birth parents but both parties need to be on board in order... more

When most families seeking to adopt consider open contact they often think about the following...

* Meeting the birthparents initially in person.

* Exchanging some sort of basic information about yourselves (first names, basic health and background)

* Verbal (sometimes written) agreements to correspond, send pictures and information about the child for a determined period of time, often indirectly and via the agency.

This can be termed as “Open Adoption” in the most basic sense. Compared to decades ago this is huge change from the... more

My co-blogger Deb just posted an excellent series about siblings separated by adoption and this got me thinking about my own two boys who are half brothers but yet separated by adoption and living in separate households with different parents.

One of the reasons I chose open adoption was so that my boys would know one another. Before Charlie was born, A and I discussed this and talked about how important it was to both of us that they know they are brothers,... more

I have been thinking a lot lately about how it really feels to be an adoptive mother in an open adoption. I am currently party to three of them, so some days it can get quite intense.

Most days I feel happy. I am happy my kids are a part of my life and glad that I can help them stay connected to their roots. I like seeing the ways they resemble their birthfamily and ways they also take after myself or my husband.

Occasionally I feel sad. I feel sad that I did not carry and bring these children... more

My personal list of the reasons I chose to place my son, Charlie, in an open adoption....

I felt like open adoption was the best type of adoption for Charlie. I didn’t know much about adoption while I was pregnant, but Charlie’s mom had done her research and explained to me why she thought open adoption was best for Charlie. Once she explained why, I agreed with her. My boys would get to know each other and know they are brothers. Although it’s not the same as living in the same household, through open adoption Noah and... more