If you are a regular reader then you have probably noticed that I haven’t been writing as much as usual lately. I have been so sick this winter and just can not seem to stay well. I’m left feeling emotionally and physically exhausted which makes it difficult to write at times.

I did manage to get permission from my doctor to go on a retreat from women with my church this past weekend. He thinks that some of the reason why I can’t seem to get well and stay well could be stress so we both thought that maybe a change of scenery in the fresh mountain air of North Carolina... more

“Open Adoption” is a very broad term and leaves room for many different interpretations. In open adoptions, what works for one set of birthparents, adoptive parents, and adopted child may not necessarily work for other sets of birthparents, adoptive parents, and adopted children in open adoption relationships. In open adoptions, “one size definitely does not fit all.”

The amount and frequency of openness in open adoptions is going to vary in each situation based on the circumstances surrounding each individual open adoption plan and the people participating in that open... more

Charlie has a pretty healthy understanding of adoption for the young age of six years old. He knows that he was adopted, that he grew in my tummy, and that I couldn’t care for him at the time so I found his Mom and Dad who could. He knows about other members of his biological family like his grandparents and brother and refers to them as such. He’s not embarrassed or ashamed that he is adopted and openly talks about it to anyone who listens.

I’ve written about this every now and then and after reading those posts, someone recently asked me how A and S have explained things... more

This weekend was another busy one for me. My son’s 4th birthday party was Saturday, and my new sister-in-law had a baby shower on Sunday, both of which I made the decorated cakes for (as well as one diaper cake). Not even a second for me to catch my breath, let alone make a post here!

Sunday I decided to make a ‘girls only’ event. I took along my oldest daughter Danika to the baby shower for her new Aunt and soon to be baby cousin. It was a wonderful time, my mother-in-law did a great job of hosting, and I found that I really like my new sister-in-law... more

Today my son and I headed of to the local McDonalds for lunch after preschool. I brought along some paperwork to do, expecting to just sit while he played in the indoor playground ,before we went on to a later appointment in another town. Instead I found myself a new friend.

We had almost finished our hamburgers when I noticed another mom with little boy about Carson’s size come in and sit near us. I also noticed she was giving me ‘the look’ for a few seconds, casually making eye contact (and no it wasn’t THAT kind of look, so stop it!) I am so used to getting... more

So what would I plan to say meeting potential adoptive parents in person? How ‘honest’ could I be without sounding somehow anti-adoption? That is certainly something I think about.

The first thing I might do would be to ask how many of them planned on adopting a ‘healthy’ newborn with no issues. Once most of them raised a hand I might be very blunt and ask them to all please leave and forget about adopting.

I know, sounds awful of me. In all honesty though I now know all too well that any child who is placed for adoption,... more

Well as I talked about in yesterdays post, I was busy doing my reading at the local library of the book “Forever Fingerprints” by Sherrie Eldridge, and now I will describe about how that did, or did not, go over.

We arrived early, set up chairs and colorful floor pillows for the kids to sit on. I tied the provided balloons on all the chairs. I arranged a display of adoption related books on a center table (the facility has some rather slim pickins here.) Then I waited for the crowds... more

One of the positives of my open adoption is that it has given me a voice that I didn’t know that I had before. I was breezing through life when I became pregnant with Charlie. After I made my adoption plan and placed Charlie for adoption, I quickly realized what was important in life, what things really matter. I began to get my priorities straight. I think placing Charlie for adoption made me grow up and become a more responsible, mature adult.

As a result of becoming a birthmother, I began to long for others like me, for other birthmothers to talk to. Once I found other birthmothers... more

Today we were home from school (oh joy!) There were parent teacher meetings going on, but we were not involved because yesterday both my ten year old and I were very sick, and are both still recovering today. Of course she is feeling much better before I, and having her home two days in a row is giving me a big dose of her “tweenage” attitude, or so I first believed.

I was sort of hoping that my oldest would help me with her younger siblings, so I could attempt to feel better myself, but unfortunately she had other ideas (as you can see from the photo, well ok,... more

Most of us involved in open adoptions understand that secrecy in our relationships can be detrimental to everyone involved. Secrets in the closed adoptions of the past were usually kept in order to withhold information from an adoptee about their adoption, or to keep birthparents from knowing how their child fared in their life after placement. Even today a system of closed records, keeps secrets that harm many adult adoptees. Most of us now know that this type of secrecy often destroyed the bonds of trust, and did far more to harm parent and child connections that it actually... more