In a recent post I was recanting some of my experience with adoption related hate groups online. It is very sad that so many people out there take the hurt and pain that they have experienced and use it as an excuse to criticize and harass others, but it happens. While I used my other post to talk about what happened to me and what I think causes some people to act out anger in that manner, today I wanted to talk about what I personally have done to turn this negative experience into... more

One of my biggest day to day concerns has been tackling the difficult situations in our three open adoptions and making them into something positive and workable for our family. Sometimes I find myself hiding those things and then suddenly blurting something out here when it reaches a high frustration point for me. I have decided that taking those issues and talking about them and what I am doing about them on a more regular basis might make for an interesting Monday series. So each Monday I will be discussing something that has proved difficult... more

I wish I had a perky post ready for today, but that just is not the way my life is currently going. My four year old has been pushing me near the brink today and right now I feel very, very alone.

A few months back we finally, after almost two years of struggling, took her to a therapist and Reactive Attachment Disorder was brought up. I had always felt that children who suffered from this were mainly those who had lived deprived of early attention in an overseas orphanage, or even severely abused children in our own foster... more

Hey it won’t cost you a thing!

A bit unusual I admit, but something most of us do not think about. Women’s shelters and assistance programs go through a lot of things, diapers, toilet paper, shampoos and deodorant, but something people do not often consider donating is personal care items in the form of tampons or pads. Women use them, they are expensive, but does anyone ever donate them?

Right now you, at no cost to yourself, can go to the Seventh Generation website (http://www.tampontification.com/donate.php)... more

As adoptive parents one of the most important things we can do for our children is to understand and acknowledge the birth “bond.” This can also be one of the most difficult things to do as the whole concept hits us in our most sensitive area, our own loss. Having a child by way of adoption, though joyful and fulfilling our need to nurture and become parents, can also remind us of our loss, the loss of the birth bond with our child.

What is the bond? Perhaps many do not even understand the difference between the “bond” of birth and the “attachment”... more

Yesterday was not a good day.

I wish I could say that it was an uncommon occurrence, unfortunately, for my family this seems to be the norm. What was going wrong? Well for those who might not know I will share that my middle child, who is 4, has a lot of behavior issues going on. Yesterday I had trouble dealing with them in a productive manner. As has become the result too often when she acts out I am left feeling emotionally drained, bankrupt if you will. Not a good feeling. Today I dropped my daughter off at school with... more

Well yesterday was the Chinese new year for 2007.

I know, I know, I have never been to China (would love to go), never adopted from China (now I am too fat ) but I am VERY into Chinese food and some of the mystical beliefs behind the celebrating of a new year.

I have to face the fact, I am a procrastinator, a bad one. The placement of the Chinese new year on the calendar (oh like seven weeks after western culture) is therefore PERFECT for me. Hey I had seven extra weeks to further put my preparations off ! If I wanted to make any resolutions... more

Today was a much needed break! After being snowed in for what felt like forever, I was finally able to get out and enjoy the entire day with my family. Relatives visiting from out of town took us to lunch and a local children’s attraction called The Magic House. The kids had a great time, I too finally had a great time.

I wondered why I have been under such stress prior to today though. Have I been doing something different, something wrong? A big part of the stress I feel just never goes away unfortunately, even at a “magic “ house. Adoption and... more

Note: This is just a fun weekend post. I’m not trying to discount the benefits of traditional therapy. If I could have found a qualified counselor, I’d probably have stuck with traditional therapy longer.

I think regardless of whether or not you have issues to deal with in therapy, almost every girl in America participates in retail therapy! It’s not good on the checkbook but it’s great for my self esteem and ego.

Perhaps you’ve never heard the term “retail therapy,” so let me explain. Retail therapy is basically the satisfaction some people... more

Today CBS correspondent Steve Hartman shared a very touching story of adoption specialist Diane Sadovnikov and her most difficult adoptive placement to date, the possible future placement of her own two daughters.

As director for an adoption service Diane has helped to place over 300 Ukranian orphans with loving American families over the years. Friends and family report her excellent ability to match children with a family that best suits their individual... more