Recently I had a topic request from another birthmom asking me to address visits, more specifically what kind of things you can do at visits and ways to make the visits themselves more meaningful.

When your child is still small there is not a whole of room for creativity in visits. You pretty much will just hold and spend time with your baby.

But as your child grows older you and the adoptive parents can begin to plan activities for your visits. This way you are not only able to be with and spend time with your child, but you are able to interact... more

Part 1 Part 2

What about the frequency of visits? Again this is something that you may have covered prior to finalization and it may be in your post adoption contact agreement if you have one, but is still an issue that may come up over the years as lives get busy.

I think determining the frequency of visits is tricky. You have to consider what is best for the child... more

Part 1 Who should be allowed at the visits? This is probably something you discussed prior to the finalization of the adoption, but as time wears on it may come up again. It’s basically up to all involved on who they are comfortable with. Nowadays, some adoptive parents may have some sort of arrangements with birth grandparents as well or it may be known that birthparents can bring immediate family members with them to the visits.

And of course... more

Recently, I have written a few posts about the first visit in open adoptions. The first visit is typically the most emotional. But today, let’s talk about ongoing visits in your open adoption.

You may have set up a post adoption contact agreement with your child’s adoptive parents and the adoption agency or you may be figuring things out as you go along. Either way, we’ll discuss... more

The first visit after you have placed your baby in an open adoption is probably one of the hardest visits ever! Depending on your particular open adoption agreement, it may be a few weeks after your baby is born or perhaps a few months after the baby is born. No matter how short or long the time apart has been, that first visit is still very emotional. I remember it like it was yesterday.

While I was pregnant, my son’s soon to be adoptive mother had said that she wanted a few weeks after he was born and they took him home for them to bond with him and for... more