It’s summer time!

Summer is a great time to plan visits with your child as it’s just a pretty laid back time of year since a lot of children (unless they attend year round schooling or are home schooled) have no school. But you may be lacking for ideas of what you could do during summer time visits.

Don’t worry; I have some ideas for you! These ideas are geared towards pre-school to middle school aged children.

Try meeting somewhere fun such as an amusement park or a water park. Summertime is a great time to hit a water park... more

Spending time with and bonding with your child during a visit is one of the reasons for visiting isn’t it?

Below are a few ways that a birthmother and her child can bond during visits. 1. Get down on your child’s level and interact. If your child is small and still plays on the floor, get down on the floor and play with him or her. Grab one of his/her toys and engage him/her with the toy, stack blocks, play with dolls, etc. 2. If your child is still a baby, rock or sing to him or her. 3. Read to your child. I think reading is such a great... more

As I wrote in The First Visit post, visits can be exciting, a little bit scary, and overwhelming all at the same time. But as time goes on, they typically (at least for me) become less awkward and much more enjoyable.

However, there is always a chance for problems. Below are a few tips on how you can avoid and deal with any tension and problems that may come up during, before, and after your visits.

1. Always communicate! If something comes up or is said during a visit that makes... more

The first visit in an open adoption is probably the most emotionally difficult visit of all, at least it has been thus far for me personally. It’s exciting, scary, and overwhelming all at the same time.

The first visit may be weeks or even a few months after the birth and relinquishment of your baby. Your baby is surely to have changed a little bit.

A fellow birthmother friend is about to have her first visit since the birth and relinquishment of her daughter and she is very nervous and anxious and has asked for some advice on how to deal with... more

Once all the planning is done and you know what you are doing for a visit and when you are having the visit, you might need to begin preparing yourself emotionally.

Sometimes I feel like I am gearing up for battle, putting on my protective armor, to protect my heart. For most birthmothers, visits are so bittersweet. We are so happy that we get to see and spend time with our children, but are also sad because we will have to say goodbye as the visit ends.

I usually have... more

So, what can you do with your child at visits??

Your options are endless! Although a lot of what you can do is going to depend on your child’s age.

Basically you have two choices or even a combination of the two choices. You can go somewhere and do some sort of activity or you can stay at one of your homes and just hang out there. There are positive and negatives to both suggestions.

Staying in gives you the opportunity to have some quality time with your child without all the distractions you might have out and about. It gives you... more

Visits with your birthchild are typically one of the highlights for a birthmother participating in an open adoption that includes visits. They give her an opportunity to bond with her child and spend time with the adoptive parents as well.

But, visits don’t just magically happen. They require a little work of both the birthparent(s) and the adoptive parent(s).

Some things to think about prior to a visit are and when planning a visit are listed below.

Scheduling ~ For most people spontaneous visits are not going to work. Jobs, family,... more

The term open adoption is a broad one and sometimes assume that because you are reading this blog that your open adoption may include visits and I realize that all open adoptions may not include frequent visits at this point and time. However, the next few posts will be for those of you who do have visits as I began a short series on visits.

Some of you may be wondering why visits are important and why they can be beneficial to involved. A lot of the reasons that I feel visits are important are also reasons listed as why open adoption itself... more

Lately, I’ve heard adoption picnics mentioned by several different birthmothers. Apparently more adoption agencies are beginning to host adoption picnics.

If you have never heard of an adoption picnic before, let me explain. Adoption picnics are hosted by various adoption agencies for the people who successfully completed adoptions through their agency. The picnics are for birthmothers, adoptive parents, and the child. It’s a fun way for them to get together and spend time with one another. I’m sure it’s also fun for the people at the agency who get to see... more

This is one of my very favorite photos of my son and his birthmom P. The picture was taken at the mother’s home where P had lived during her pregnancy, right after we had returned from court and finalizing Carson’s adoption. The get together that day was impromptu, but memorable. We agreed to meet at the mother’s home because P wanted to show Carson off to her many friends still residing there. Looking back now I wonder at some of the skeptical looks we received when the ladies learned who my husband and I were, but at the time I was happy and more focused on P than them.

I... more