After reading another of Jenna’s great posts, I admit this one had me really thinking. Honestly this young woman has such an exceptional way with words! I really feel she won’t be at a loss for those words when her daughter needs to hear from her heart, but I could see what she was trying to express.

I have no doubt that birthparents fear that day, the day when their old enough child is able to verbalize the question that perhaps they fear the most. WHY?... more

“Are you afraid of the role you played in this loss?”

-Ann, Lili Taylor of Lifetime's "State Of Mind"

This is what I encountered while flipping through channels late at night, searching for something to help keep my eyes open just a bit longer. Boy did that open my eyes.

Lifetime’s new show “State Of Mind” staring Lili Taylor, aired a particularly interesting episode (only the show’s 4th) centering on a birthmother’s quest to locate her now 13... more

“I could never do that.”

This statement makes my stomach churn every time I hear it and I’m sure there are probably some other birthmothers out there reading this, sitting at their computer desks, nodding their heads yes in unison.

First, let me clarify the context that I’m referring to in this post. I’m referring to the “I could never do that” statement in the context of being a birthmother, typically when I’ve just shared with someone who doesn’t know my story very well or at all that I am... more

Recently, Heather refreshed the memory of her readers, by clearly sharing her core views about adoption. For those who might be a bit “hard of reading”, they were in bold so the point could be easily grasped. I was not surprised by anything there, her views have remained the same as they were years ago when she wrote a publication for the organization C.U.B., “What you should know if you are considering adoption for your baby”.

At... more

My co-blogger Coley, who also writes for the crisis pregnancy blog, recently did a great post concerning a birthparent view of things a expectant mother should consider before making an adoption plan. Some really great advice! I agree with her wisdom and perspective. While reading this post though, I began thinking how many of those same things could be slightly adjusted and addressed to potential adoptive... more

In the past few days, I’ve written a lot about how I do choose to acknowledge my birthmotherhood by joining with other birthmother’s for a Birthmother’s Day event. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t hurt on Mother’s Day or grieve the loss of my motherhood to Charlie; because I do. Unlike birthmothers who are first time Mothers are I have celebrated Mother’s Days in the past, but even though I am with Noah on Mother’s Day, there is still a piece of my heart that misses mothering Charlie more... more

My family and I just got back from a short but much needed vacation to Atlanta, Georgia. Noah was on spring break and J took some time off from work and we just goofed around Atlanta for a few days visiting the baby pandas at the Atlanta Zoo, riding roller coasters, and just spending some quality time together as a family.

Even when I am on vacation, I still think of Charlie. I think of how great it would be if he were there with us. I try not to linger on that thought too much but instead I try to think of ways I can share my vacation with him.

A... more

Did you journal as a teenager? Did you have one of those journals with a lock on the side? I did! And I hid that journal under my bed, safe from my little brother! I was never very good at sticking with it though. I’d journal a bit only to write for a few days and then forget about it.

I didn’t really become good at journaling until after Charlie was born. Then, journaling became a way of life for me a way. It’s a way for me to heal and work through major life events.

Journaling is a very healthy and healing individual process. As a birthmother,... more

Yesterday I wrote about dealing with new additions to your child’s adoptive family and then my co-blogger Deb wrote about the reaction of her daughter’s birth family when they added another child to their family. But how do you deal with new additions to your own family? How can you have a baby and parent that baby yet still make your birthchild feel loved.

I have a few suggestions... more

Continued from Part 1

Although you may be sad about the move and feel many different emotions, it’s important to remember that the child is the most important person in this whole situation, so making him or her feel secure with the changes that are about to come about is of the utmost importance.

How can you make your child feel loved and still be a part of his or her life while living miles and miles away?