An interesting theory has come up lately that every adoption could and should be an open one.

Ideally that would be great, but honestly how realistic is it?

I have no doubt that most birthparents care about their children, many have a lot to offer even though they are not parenting them. Open adoption can be a wonderful and positive thing for a child and I encourage everyone to consider if it is possible for them. If it is possible for them. I am also all too aware that there are some birthparents who just cannot... more

Our adoption is independent, once contested, and open. On Friday it’ll be finalized! The first time I met the judge (I believe) who will be signing our ‘forever family’ papers was under very different and frightening circumstances. We had the real chance we would not be able to parent our son. This judge was the one who would be deciding the case.

It was also the first time we met my son’s biological paternal grandparents (and great grandparents, though at the time we didn’t know that). That wasn’t an easy meeting either,... more

The last two and a half years I’ve dreamed of our finalization date. It would be the day Craig and Jimmy, Jay and I would be a forever family.

After two and a half years in an abnormal adoption process, last week I found out we had a date. It's September 8 at 8:15 a.m.

I used to watch Adoption Stories on the Discovery Health channel and cry during the scene when that family was signing the papers in front of the judge and then getting their pictures taken with him or her.

I know I’ll leak a tear or two (or ten thousand!) during our court date. However, I didn’t expect to be head-on-my-desk sobbing after I hung up the phone with our lawyer after hearing the good news.... more

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been instant messaging my husband from work “did we get the letter?” about the time he checks the mail.

See, I’ve been eagerly waiting for word on our adoption since our last home check by the social worker. (I’m still pinching myself they were really here!) Before the social worker left our house, she said we’d get a letter in the mail the next week. As soon as we received it, our lawyer could file the last adoption paperwork (not sure what it’s called) with the court. After that we’d get a court date for finalization.

So I’ve been waiting … and waiting … and waiting.

I wondered why it wasn’t here the week it was supposed to be.... more

Tomorrow is a big day in our house. It’s the day the social workers come for the final home visit. After 30 months and a lot of angst and worry if the judge would ever rule us a forever family – this adoption is finally on its way to being permanently legal.

When I last posted about our adoption process we were hoping for the original documents to be filed in the court. They weren’t.

If they couldn’t be found, we’d have to either sign them all over again with the original Independent Adoption Worker (IAW) or start the adoption over from the beginning with a new IAW.

I was expecting... more

Yesterday I felt a flicker of hope. Last night it flamed a bit and I tried to douse it, tried to put it out. I shouldn’t hope things will be smoother than not in our adoption journey. After 30 months of rough and tumble, I should know better. I really should.

If it can take six months or two days, my process will take one year – but I will have hoped for the two days. You see how this works? We are the Murphy’s Law of adoption: If it can go wrong, it will.

The latest drama has been missing paperwork – the original placement paperwork that my son’s birth mom, Jimmy and I signed over two years ago. My son’s adoption can’t finalize until that is found, or until we sign new ones... more

Craig was born on the first day of winter in 2003. A small earthquake on the California coast, about a hundred miles away, heralded his pending arrival. Jimmy and I stood next to my son’s birth mom as she labored and delivered.

I snipped his umbilical cord.

Craig’s birth mom asked to see him and the nurse took him over to her. She took in the features of his sweet face and bundled body and said, “Okay, now take him to his parents.”

We were lead to the hospital nursery. The nurse walked ahead of us. Jimmy and I paused in the hallway, delaying our arrival. I looked at him and he at me, and then we cried. Huge gulping sobs shook me. Until then, I never knew happiness... more

Note: This is the first post in a multi-blogger series with social worker and open adoption blogger Ellen Rardin.

Disbelief. I pressed the phone closer to my ear and said, “Say that again?” The repeated words were the same but I still didn’t understand them. Well, I knew what they meant, but I wasn’t sure why it applied to us.

The lady on the phone said, "Technically, it's considered kidnapping when you take a child out of the county. Which is what you did with Craig when you... more