I hate it when you try so hard, when you really have all hope and faith that something will change, and it doesn’t.

Tonight I learned that one of my children’s birthparents is again in a world of trouble. In the past this was also the case, but in the last year things seemed to be turning around for them, life appeared to be coming together. I have no idea why this suddenly changed again, but I know that the impact of today will be felt in our house for a long time to come. What makes someone want to turn their back on everything possibly... more

Jan recently did a wonderful blog about being PC, or politically correct, when writing in the adoption world. She definitely has a valid point. Persons from all sides of the adoption experience have sensitive, or flag words and phrases that can feel down right wrong, judgmental or offensive to them when reading adoption related writing. I really enjoyed Jan’s tips very much and found them to be helpful advice to those of us who are writing to a varied, adoption experienced... more

Out scouting around for interesting topics I came across this interesting PDF written by Karen Lundbland, LCSW concerning mediation in open adoption arrangements.

Lundbland has been in private practice as a full time mediator since 1998 in Eugene, at both the University of Oregon and Portland State University. While I personally cannot vouch for her services, I was very intrigued by the aforementioned article she wrote... more

Once you have adopted a child and agreed to an open relationship with one or both birthparents it can be difficult to know just how to get things started. When you first arrive home as a new family and are in the midst of learning all about your new child, it is still very important to stay connected with his or her birthparents. Making a relationship will take time and effort and it also involves honoring each person’s unique role in the child’s life.

There are little things you can do to keep communication flowing in those early days as you go... more

Continued from Part two...

During this time I know my daughter had excitement about a new baby brother coming along. I think she understood that he was “hers” as in her little brother, but she did not quite understand why he would not be coming home to live with us. I guess with our older daughter that must have been some of the same issues that her older birth siblings were going through when she was placed with us and... more

In Part One of this series I talked about our oldest child’s adoption and her open relationship with her three older birth siblings. When a birthmother already has children it can be one type of experience, but what about when your adopted child is her first and she goes on to have other children?

This was the situation with our second daughter Cierra. She was born when our oldest was five years old, a first baby for her birthmother.... more

While several other bloggers are addressing this topic right now, I know each of our situations (like all adoptions) are unique and I will be sharing some of my own family experiences with this series.

Back in my series on the Independent adoption of our first daughter I talked about our meeting her birthfamily, and her placement with us. The adoption that resulted has been an open one with Danika’s birth grand-parents and three older half siblings.... more

Continued from Part One...

So down the road as my children grow, our open adoption arrangements may change and issues might evolve. How is it going to be when my children are older and begin to understand some of the differences in the contact they have with their own birthfamilies as compared to their siblings? What kind of challenges will this present for the whole family?

Right now I can only imagine how things... more

My co-blogger Coley just raised an interesting topic in her last post about adopted siblings with different birthparents, and how the relationships and contact level can vary. Having three children in open adoptions, all with different birthfamilies I wanted to address this from my own experience as well (and ok I was scratching my bottom brain trying to narrow in on a topic today).

It can be very challenging when you have more... more

Often times when there is more than one adopted child in a family, there will be different and varying degrees of involvement from each adopted child’s birth family. One child may see his or her birthmother through out the year while another may only receive letters from his or her birthmother every so often. I know that it has to be tough on the child that is receiving less contact.

As birthmoms, I guess we could relate by thinking of it as the same feelings that we may have when our friends who are also birthmoms are having more openness in their adoptions... more