If you have not figured this out by now, open adoption is not walk in the park, almost nothing about adoption is. When I think of the positives, they are a ton of work to get to, but it IS worth the effort. Hopefully by working hard to get there together our children will be the best they can be. Even when birthfamily and adoptive family are active and involved there are times that when conflict and our emotions get the better of us. For myself there have been many things recently... more

Well a ton of news has been coming in here today, not all of it good.

I got an email from my four year old’s great grandma that she was awarded full custody of my daughter’s seven month old baby brother (the good news I suppose). Then I received an email from grandma that birthmom R was arrested in another state for grand theft auto, a felony (the bad news). Somehow I was not surprised about the arrest, they have been looking for her for over a month now. She has enough prior issues she was on... more

Yesterday I wrote about dealing with new additions to your child’s adoptive family and then my co-blogger Deb wrote about the reaction of her daughter’s birth family when they added another child to their family. But how do you deal with new additions to your own family? How can you have a baby and parent that baby yet still make your birthchild feel loved.

I have a few suggestions... more

My fellow blogger Coley did a great post about adoptive parents welcoming a new addition into their family and I wanted to share one of my experiences with that as well.

When we added our second daughter to our family our oldest child was thrilled to say the least! Her extended birthfamily were not overly excited, but they also were not negative, they are just more reserved as people so we never really thought much about their reaction. Just a short eighteen months... more

Your child’s adoptive parents have announced that they are going to have a new addition to their family. They may be adopting again or perhaps they have unexpectedly become pregnant. Regardless of the means of how the child is coming to them, they are preparing for a new arrival!

How does this make you as a birthmom feel? Do you feel excited and happy for your child and his or her family? Do you feel a little anxious or nervous that perhaps your child will not get as much attention as they did before the new addition? Does a subsequent adopted child... more

Continued from Part 1

Although you may be sad about the move and feel many different emotions, it’s important to remember that the child is the most important person in this whole situation, so making him or her feel secure with the changes that are about to come about is of the utmost importance.

How can you make your child feel loved and still be a part of his or her life while living miles and miles away?

This scenario could go two different ways, but the end result is the same, you are separated by many miles from your child and your child’s family. Before I dive into the subject at hand, let me say, that I understand not everyone placed their child with adoptive parents in the same area, so this is geared towards those who do…

You place your child in an open adoption agreement and are able to see him or her periodically but then because of career choices, family situations, or other circumstances on either your part or your child’s family’s part, you (scenario... more

Think abut this scenario:

You become unexpectedly pregnant at a time in your life with you really can not care for a child financially, emotionally, or physically. You feel that a stable home with a two parent family; a mother and a father, could provide your child with more than you can at this time in your life. You make an adoption plan and choose open adoption so that you will be able to see and know your child over the years. You are doing ok. It's been an emotional rollercoaster, but you deal with your feelings and emotions... more

Mommy?

Yes honey. . .

You dopted me so that I was going to be taken care of right? So R could not take care of me cause she was getting into trouble but she did not think that I would get into trouble with you right?

Well I think she knew you would be taken care of. . .

So she was scared I would get into trouble with her?

I think she wanted you to be taken care of, I am not sure she thought she would be able to. . .

But... more

I’m going to begin a short little series on some of the things that may arise and that you may have to deal with in your adoption situation.

One of your rights as a mother is to name your baby, even if you are making an adoption plan, naming your baby is still your right. The adoptive parents then have the right to re-name the child. In some open adoptions nowadays, birthparents and adoptive parents will discuss the child’s name before hand and come to an agreed name. In other cases where the birthmom names her child, adoptive parents may keep the first... more