In yesterdays post, I discussed the negative aspect of my family loosing a family member. I really didn’t realize before signing those papers how much relinquishment would affect not just me but everyone in our family.

However, a positive aspect of open adoption is the fact that my family members have the ability to have a relationship with Charlie. Granted it’s not the normal type of relationship that they would have had with Charlie had I parented him, but it’s still a relationship.... more

Another positive aspect of open adoption is the fact that Charlie has the ability to ask me any questions he may have related to adoption.

Charlie has always known he is adopted and his parents have done a terrific job of explaining adoption to him, but when those questions arise that involve why I made the choices he did, I prefer to the person answering them. As a birthmother, this is comforting to me because he gets the answers right from the source instead of second hand. His adoptive parents and I have discussed all of this before he was born and all came to the agreement... more

In my last post , I wrote about the things that I don’t know about Charlie being a huge negative aspect for me personally in my open adoption situation. It tears me up inside that I don’t know all the little things about Charlie that I do know about Noah. Piggybacking off that post and looking at the positive aspects of open adoption today, I’d like to talk about the things that I do know about Charlie.

Because of open adoption there are many little things about Charlie that I am able to... more

One of what I see as the big positives of open adoption is that my son will never have to search for me, I’m right here and he knows how and where to find me.

I know that there are many adult adoptees (and birthmothers too for that matter) who desperately want to find their birthmothers (or birth children). Let’s use my friend T as an example. She is an adult adoptee in her mid twenties who was placed in a closed adoption. She is searching for her birthmother. She desperately longs for a biological connection and says that she has longed for that connection for as long as she... more

Recently, a reader asked me about information on the benefits of open adoption for the adopted child. Specifically the spouse is unaware of the benefits of open adoption and feels that visits with the child’s birthmother are birthparents could cause confusion. I think sometimes this is a common misconception.

In my opinion some of the benefits of open adoption for the child are:

The child is able to have relationship with his/her roots, meaning biological family He/she never has to wonder where they came from The child has direct access to medical history ... more