Although we do have, for the most part, open adoptions with any number of birthfamily members, two of our children have biological fathers who are not involved, and we are not in contact with. One child’s birthfather is even an adoptee in a closed adoption himself. The sad thing is that both these birthdads do not have contact because they do not choose to be involved, not because we have really restricted them from participating. Not being able to see or know them however, has had very little to do with how our children think and wonder about them. The kids talk about their... more

With Thanksgiving pending, I have been going over all that I have to be thankful for here, and I am truly fortunate it is really a long list. One of the little things is that thankfully I won’t be cooking the turkey dinner tomorrow (a relief to all who know me), but there are also many, more important things I consider at this time every year.

I am thankful for a caring, supportive husband who works hard to provide for us all. Without him I would have never known that healing from the chaos that was my childhood was possible. I am immensely thankful for... more

I have been reading online about the experiences of some birthparents in open adoptions, who have come to find out over time, that perhaps they really don't like their kid’s adoptive parents very much. I wonder at times if I, like those adoptive parents in question, am susceptible to some very high, unknown, and unattainable standards myself.

I will be the first to admit that it scares the pants off me. I always come away from reading something like that from a birthparent, however justified in their personal situation, and wonder if my own children’s birthparents think... more