Many times during pregnancy, the expectant mother may become close to the adoptive parents, usually the adoptive mother especially. While I think that bonding between these two mothers is great and could lead to a more positive open adoption experience later on down the road, it can also be a bit troubling at first post adoption.

I know many birthmothers who have become very close to their child’s adoptive mother during the pregnancy, but once the baby is born the level of closeness changes. They may have been chatting on the phone daily, emailing back and forth through... more

One of the positives in our open adoption has definitely become my relationship with Charlie’s adoptive parents. I did choose them to be Charlie’s adoptive parents while I was still pregnant, so I did have the time before he was born to get to know them. Although he was born early, so it wasn’t that terribly long. Our relationship before Charlie was born and the time directly after he was born was like walking on eggshells. We were all treading new waters not really knowing exactly what the “right” thing to do or say was.

It was difficult and just as the there is the saying about “Rome... more

In my last post, I wrote about the friendship A and I share. As I was writing that post, I started thinking of some of the bonding moments that A and I have shared over the six years since Charlie was born. While, there is plenty of time to chat and bond when your child is with you, I think it’s also good to have some moments without your child present, where you can just chat.

I’ll share a few of things we have done and then perhaps you (if you are an adoptive mother or birthmother who are trying... more

I’ve been thinking about my friendship with A. a lot lately. Yes, she is Charlie’s adoptive mother but she is more than that to me, she is my friend too.

I think that there is a common misconception among some people that adoptive mothers and birthmothers can not be friends but hopefully the friendship that A and I share as well as the friendship that Jenna has written about between her and her daughter’s adoptive mother in the birth/first... more