Thursday I drove 100 miles round trip to pick up two girls ages 12 and 14, to stay for the summer. Sounds like a fun visit, and it will be to some extent, but there are also some more complicated layers to this story that has been going back and forth for far to many years.

These are the youngest two girls of former high school friend. A mother of four, haphazardly parented children. In my opinion she might qualify as one of the many mothers who probably should have placed these children for adoption years ago. Instead she followed “her right”... more

Ok, one of the stories going around the web for the last week or so, is concerning a Minnesota couple who has decided to use what the articles term as “billboards” to get the word out that they are interested in adopting a baby.

Tom and Claire Halverson, after waiting for over three years to locate a newborn available for adoption, decided to post 3feet by 4feet homemade signs ( billboards?) along the route they travel to the craft fairs... more

Several bloggers have commented that fear can sometimes guide the actions of adoptive parents in relation to open adoption. Of course open adoption is not a completely predictable experience. Openness can be scary, fears are to be expected. Do fears actually equal excuses not to work at open adoption though? As someone involved in three very different open adoption relationships, I do not believe that to be true.

There are many reasons why an open adoption may not work, fear may just be a small part of that. Even in the most open adoption, fears... more

I cannot tell you how sick and tired I am of this attitude that adoptive moms are nothing more than greedy, baby- hungry, family wreckers! For the majority of adopting parents, nothing is farther from the truth. No one would fault a biological mother for desiring a child because she wishes to know the joy of being a parent, yet adoptive parents are often fair game for accusations of self-centered ideals if they too wish to joyfully parent a child.

Most adoptive parents come into a situation, as unfortunate as it might be, that is already set in... more

Honestly some days I think I must have a huge pile of insurmountable stuff going on that makes my family life feel like anything but normal. We have all the regular family concerns of course, but when you add in all the adoption/ special needs/ birthfamily/ transracial family issues it can begin to feel more than a little isolating at times. It becomes easy to believe that if you were just doing something more like someone else (you know the ones who seems to have it all together) then life would be great, maybe even manageable.

I... more

All the recent hub bub over celebrity bad dad Alec Baldwin’s nasty phone message to his twelve year old daughter has also seemed to set yet another unfortunate term lose into the world of adoption. Well Baldwin’s situation might seem to have little to do with adoption (his daughter is not an adopted child) but groups who wish to end the practice of adoption have quickly stepped up to claim his coined term as part of their method to convince us that adoption is never right, no way, no how.... more

Most all the world understands the wish to have a child, to begin a family, it seems to be a basic human desire. Why then is it so difficult for society to understand when couples who want to become parents would then wish to adopt a child? How can it become so hard to understand when a child needs permanency that adoption can be an option? Why adoption? Well aren’t there many positive reasons why people would choose adoption?

When you consider all the many waiting children the world round who are desperately in need of the love and... more

If you listen closely, when you hear the media talking about adoption, they typically do not use the correct terms. The wording can often be offensive or ignorant. Typically it is because they are not well educated on the issue at hand. By encouraging the media to use accurate and respectful adoption language, it will possibly improve the views of adoption by people not directly linked to adoption.

The media likes to sensationalize stories and events. Unless it is essential to a news story, we do not need to know if a person was adopted. For example, when... more

Holly at the Africa Adoption blog recently did a great, eye-opening series on adoptism, what it means, and how it affects those touched by adoption. Many of those who commented wondered whether or not this is a true “-ism” and if it really touches anyone other than adoptive parents with it’s harsh and discriminatory occurrence.

Upon thinking myself on this issue I decided to address what I feel adoptism is from my own perspective as an adoptive mom of three children, and... more

Open adoption is a fairly new concept for many people. It really has just become popular and more practiced in the past five to ten years. In this post, we will examine some of the annoying comments that people make when they find out you are participating in an open adoption.

1. “How nice of them to let you see him/her.”

This comment is usually said in response to me explaining that I have an open adoption with visitations and that I get to see my son.

Why this statement can be annoying to a birthmother: It’s a tad condescending... more