First of all, let me wish all of my readers a very Merry Christmas. I hope that you were able to spend the day (or at least part of it) with loved ones. I hope you had a peaceful day as well.

My Christmas was nice; busy, but nice. It started out busy because of all the things that I must do as the Mom of another child, one that I am parenting. Ya know, stuffing the stockings and all that. It's days like today that I am all the more thankful for the child I am parenting because he takes my mind off the one that I am not. Often times through out the day today, when... more

Well it is 1:00am here, we are back from our church’s candlelight service, kids are asleep, and these stockings are about to get stuffed!

To everyone out there have a very Merry Christmas!

The picture with this post is one I took earlier in the week, mom fooling around and pretending to be one of ‘Santa’s elves.’ Honestly I look like I have ingested way too much eggnog (light on the egg, heavy on the nog.) I think it is funny, but I also know that this is a picture of the me that has really been missing for some time now.... more

I have not been here much, even after I swore that I was back! Another bout with illness, a minor family feud, a holiday visit with one birthfamily, and a BAD case of ‘ not even close to being ready for Christmas day ' have all sadly kept me away from the computer.

We did not even think that we would squeeze in a visit with Santa this year, but luckily we were able to go to the mall on the 22nd and get our traditional picture on his lap. I am happy to report that my oldest, almost 11 now, still has a wonderful, innocent belief in the jolly old elf. This year... more

In the last few posts, I have been discussing ways to get through the holidays since Christmas is a tough time of year for many birthmothers. I’ve discussed things you can do with others and the importance of one on one time with yourself. In this post, we will discuss ways to honor your child in his or her absence from your family’s holidays. Depending on how much your family knows about your adoption and how supportive they are of it, you may wish to include them in some of these ideas, although you can certainly do them on your own too.

The ornament... more

With all the sad,sad, attention grabbing headlines right now, I have found myself having to call heavily on my faith and belief in forgiveness in order to see hope for those families, and also for myself in my own struggles. After so many have been quick to toss the proverbial stones, I am glad to see that some also have extended the hope of forgiveness to these families in the stories.

These lives have gone so wrong, many of us cannot seem to wrap our minds around it. Things did not seem to be able to be fixed for them, and the result of the pent up frustration... more

In my last post, I discussed ways that you can reach out and be with others while you are struggling with your emotions during the holidays. While you shouldn’t lock yourself in your home until after the New Year, there are times during the holidays where the constant activity becomes too much and you may need alone time. You need time to deal with your emotions and to reflect.

If your holiday season is as hectic as mine, you may actually have to schedule down time. I know... more

Dealing with a little extra stress at Christmas time seems to be something most of us who have an adoption connection can relate to. My friend Coley, as well as several others here have blogged about how difficult this time of year can be, no matter what your place in the triad. I admit that I often confront many emotional issues myself during the holiday season. Beyond worrying about the normal things like having all my gifts purchased, getting my decorating and baking done,... more

In my last post, I talked about how the holidays aren’t always merry for everyone and how they can be hard for birthmothers. But I do have suggestions on ways you can cope and get through this holiday season.

You may feel like locking yourself in your house and not coming out until after the New Year, but isolating yourself totally may not be the healthiest of ideas. (Although I do realize we all need down time, so that will be covered more in the next post.) You may benefit... more

Trimming the tree, buying gifts, holiday parties, trips to see Santa, special church services, baking cookies, Christmas morning breakfast; the holiday season is supposed to be a festive one. Many friends and families come together to celebrate this festive season. Yet, the happiest time of the year isn’t always happy for everyone. There are many people who have lost loved ones who have a really hard time during the holidays.

The holidays are also a busy and stressful time of the year for many people, even those without loss. The constant activities, holiday parties, and... more

A reader recently asked this question:

“This Christmas will be my (birth) daughter’s first Christmas. She is just three months old and I am struggling with what to get her. What do you give a three month old?”

Obviously a three month old isn’t going to know what you have given her. She won’t remember it later. But as a birthmother, I can understand why you want to give her a gift and why it is stressful to come up with a gift that is just right.

Charlie was just around three months old his first Christmas and I can remember thinking... more