Each year teaches us something different and I have learned many life lessons as a result of the events in my personal life in 2006 and some of the life lessons have been re-affirmed and re-taught.

As a result of the deaths of my mother in law and brother in law in a two month time frame, I have learned to take nothing for granted, to live each moment and make it count, and to spend as much time with family and friends as possible. Coinciding... more

Continued from Part 1 of New Years Resolutions……

Two years ago, I set my resolution of making and completing Charlie’s life book. I was very determined to accomplish that goal, not only because I thought it would be beneficial to my self in dealing with my grief, but because it was so important to me for Charlie to have it and begin using it.

I used the steps mentioned in part one.... more

All the wrapping paper is on the floor and Christmas has come and gone in a matter of hours! I always hate the day/days after Christmas – all the anticipation of Christmas and then it’s done. It’s a tad depressing.

I got some nice tangible gifts from my family. I now own lots of silicone bake ware! And it’s PINK – my favorite color. Recently, I have started to love baking and wanted the new silicone bake ware. I can’t wait to try it out. I also received a video camera, some books (Anne Fessler’s "The Girls Who Went Away" being one of them) and clothes of course.... more

Yes, that’s right! Merry Christmas from all of us – no matter if we are separated by miles between adoption situations or separated by earthly boundaries for reasons unbeknownst to our hearts. Today, on Christmas Day, in this spirit we wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

I love this little card I created just for YOU! That’s me, yours truly, dawning my pink (fave color!) sequined Santa Hat, Noah, being the clown he is, Charlie showing off his Dad’s too big tie, and Jason placing some poinsettias at the grave to honor his mother, whom he lost in July of this... more

The holidays are upon us and what a great time to pack up the house and move! Okay, not really.

However this year, instead of decorating the house and hanging stockings on the chimney with care, we are going through our household items and either packing them or sorting them for donation or throwaway.

It’s not my favorite thing to do. We just moved into this house last February. However, this move will be back to our hometown and near family again. They are two hours south of us and, while that doesn’t seem like too long a distance, it’s still far away.

I learned the hard way this summer how far two hours really is when there’s a family emergency.

We’ve been... more

Part 1

Decade of difference

If you froze this moment, stepped back and looked around at our house, you’d think it had a split personality. The upper layers -- counter tops, high shelves, tables and the entertainment center -- were areas of contained chaos. Remote control cars, Bionicles and other Lego parts, anime comics, Harry Potter books, action figures and various hand held computer games littered these out-of-reach-of-Craig areas.

Fire-engine-red, race-car-yellow and grass-green colored blocks were strewn about the lower, carpeted realm. Thick cardboard... more

Craig learned to open the bathroom door this week. With his chubby, dimpled hands he would swat at the doorknob, making a loud click, bang sound. He knew we somehow worked our magic on these knobs and could make the door swing open, revealing a new world. One he wasn’t allowed to explore yet. He slap-smacked the doorknob again and spoke to it in his garbly-google language. This was something he did daily and it was always a noisy process.

This past Saturday morning was different however. After a few repetitions, it got quiet, too quiet. I leaned back in the dining room chair and peeked down the hall, the door was ajar and light showed where shadow should have lounged. I jumped up... more

Today, I just can’t seem to force myself to specifically write about adoption or even to write about the upcoming Christmas holiday. For today, I am just sad, broken hearted and I need to let myself be that way.

For those of you who are reading this, who may be feeling sad, too; today let’s unite.

December 16th, a year ago today, was the due date of my third pregnancy. Earlier in my pregnancy I had lost our baby girl, whom we named Darcy. This day last year was very hard as I was thinking of the loss of my parenting and mothering to this baby;... more

Part 1 | Part 2

Being Open

I can’t remember what I thought adoption was before Craig. I’m sure it was something along the lines of this magical person putting a baby in my arms and we lived happily ever after like in the fairytales. During the five months my husband and I waited for Craig to be born, I read books, web sites and online forums and learned as much as I could about the different types of adoption.

That first night home, as Craig and I started our new middle-of-the-night... more

Questions

"You’re okay with his real mother seeing him?” a co-worker asked when she found out my youngest son was adopted. He was fourteen months old now, and I still wasn’t very good at answering questions like that.

“Yes, totally,” I said. However, I felt flustered, I was his real mother and wasn’t sure how to set her straight on that without seeming rude.

“So how often does she get to see him?”

“His birth mother? Whenever. It’s really casual.” We had no set schedule, I hadn’t even thought about it in terms of x number of visits per time frame.

“Is this him?” She pointed to some photos I had set out across my desk. “That one... more