This weekend was my daughter’s 10th birthday party and we had the traditional family, friends and birthfamily present. In the fuss before hand getting everything ready I did not notice something adoption related that I had left out in the kitchen until later in the midst of my daughter’s party when her birth grandma mentioned it to me. She was polite, I was embarrassed, and for lack of a better place to put this thing it still sits on the inside of my kitchen door. So what is IT you ask? Well the little piece of my past adoption story hanging on my (metal)... more

Love is watching your best friend bond with her birth daughter….

This picture is of my best friend Lani with her birth daughter, K. Three years ago, Lani and I took a little road trip. She really wanted to go visit her daughter on her birthday (which just so happens to be my birthday too) and she didn’t want to travel three states away to where K and family live alone, so she asked me if I would go with her. And of course, I said yes. We went and spent about three days. Not every waking moment was spent with K and her family, but we did spend a... more

A recent post by Coley mentions an email from a birthmother struggling with how to process the diagnosis of her daughter’s adoptive mother with cancer. Coley offers some great tips on dealing with this shock and also how to support the family as they go through such a difficult time. Of course prayer is a positive and reminds those who are experiencing this that there is always HOPE for recovery.

Adoptive families in open relationships can be affected... more

This picture was taken on Charlie’s first birthday, September 20, 2002. His party was the following day, September 21. I thought that I would be ok not seeing Charlie on his actual birthday, but I woke up feeling very sad and called A. a few times through out the day.

She had previously suggested that we meet for dinner on that day, but I had previously said no, not sure how I would feel on his actual birthday. To make a long story short, I needed to see him that day. I needed to be with Charlie and his family, so we did end up meeting for dinner.... more

It is late here, my husband doesn’t know it, but I am thinking some crazy thoughts.

I know with all the complications were are experiencing with all our kid’s biological families you would not think this would be crossing my mind. . . but here it is creeping in there when even I least would expect it too. I am thinking about a new baby. (Ok and I am telling all of YOU first!)

Ok, now that I said that I have got it out there so I can reflect on why exactly I might be feeling that way at such an odd time (and why it isn't... more

Well a ton of news has been coming in here today, not all of it good.

I got an email from my four year old’s great grandma that she was awarded full custody of my daughter’s seven month old baby brother (the good news I suppose). Then I received an email from grandma that birthmom R was arrested in another state for grand theft auto, a felony (the bad news). Somehow I was not surprised about the arrest, they have been looking for her for over a month now. She has enough prior issues she was on... more

In a recent post I was recanting some of my experience with adoption related hate groups online. It is very sad that so many people out there take the hurt and pain that they have experienced and use it as an excuse to criticize and harass others, but it happens. While I used my other post to talk about what happened to me and what I think causes some people to act out anger in that manner, today I wanted to talk about what I personally have done to turn this negative experience into... more

Today was a good day at our house. My four year old Cierra had a very relaxed day and that is something we do not get to see too often. We went to church, out to lunch, and home to just hang out. No big episodes, nothing I would not consider normal or ordinary for the age. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me, because quite honestly the day in day out screaming and defiance would wear even a saint out.

We have not been going to her RAD therapy lately, partly because we are trying to locate someone closer... more

I received a great email from an old friend the other day! My friend B whom I have not seen in many years, but I remember well some of our many experiences together, one of them being twenty years ago this month around the time that she gave birth to a son whom she placed for adoption. In our emails we talked about the “crazy” time when she was nine months (and thankfully holding) pregnant and we drove an eight hour round trip to go pick up another friend from college. Wow, I still can’t believe that we did that, and that I did not end... more

This picture was taken at Noah’s ninth birthday party. We had his birthday party at one of those fun parks that has bumper boats, go carts, miniature golf, arcade games, etc... It was a lot of fun for the kids. (And the adults too!)

It was a beautiful fall day and pretty warm for the end of October so (at Charlie’s insistence) we all decided to take a ride on the bumper boats. Charlie asked my Mom if she would ride with him. My Mom hardly ever rides things like bumper boats or roller coasters so I was prepared for her to say no, but she... more