Well my visitors of the last three and a half weeks have left us today. I really enjoyed having my nieces stay with us, they will be missed by everyone here. My girls enjoyed playing with their older, “cool” cousins, and my little son enjoyed the extra pampering he received. We really all wanted to keep R and K forever. The sad detail in this visit, is that it was just one of many similar sad goodbyes over the years for us, and it made me again wonder why it has to happen.

The girls started coming to us as babies, being raised by a mother who... more

What do you do as a birthparent when you realize your child isn’t living the happily ever after fairy tale life you thought they were? In the less open forms of open adoption or if perhaps you are limited to visits due to distance, your child may appear to be happy, but how much of what is really going on behind closed doors will be aware of until they are a great deal older? What do you do when you realize that “happily ever after” didn’t occur for your child?

I have a good friend going through this right now. Her child was verbally abused and mistreated for... more

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go…. Some stay and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.”

This morning, I woke up to a ringing phone and that ringing phone had bad news on the other end. The family member of J, a friend and fellow birthmom (and a BirthMom Buds staff member) called to let me know that J died on Sunday. It is unclear at this point whether or not J’s death was intentional or unintentional.

J is the birthmom to a beautiful baby girl who just recently turned... more

In case you don’t know what Don Pablo’s is or you are not lucky enough to have one in your area, let me enlighten you.

Don Pablo’s is a “Tex-Mex” restaurant well known for its blazing purple neon sign, killer margaritas, and real enchiladas. I worked at the local Don Pablo’s before, during, and after my pregnancy with Charlie.

As cheesy as it may sound, Don Pablo’s will always hold a special place in my heart. Don Pablo’s is where I met Charlie’s adoptive parents, S and A.

S and A were regular customers often coming in to each lunch on their... more

As a member of the adoption triad, we all need support and others who have experienced or are experiencing the same things we are experiencing. Personally speaking, my family and friends try very hard to be supportive but no one truly gets it as a birthmom does.

I realized this just days after coming home from the hospital after giving birth to and relinquishing Charlie. My friends and family tried so hard to support me but they just didn’t truly understand the feelings I was experiencing.

Sleepless, alone, and desperate one night in those... more

Out and about today I had an interesting encounter with a fellow mom at the local McDonalds. Of course it is obvious to most who run into us, that my son is not an exact duplicate of me, though he shares my bushy eyebrows and dark eyes. That said, it came as no surprise when this lady asked me about the “A” word in between french fries today.

Turns out she was interested because she herself is an adopted person, albeit a happy one. Seems as though she had a wonderful childhood, loving parents who fully explained adoption and later encouraged and assisted... more

My middle brother J called me today to wish me a happy Mother’s Day! I was very happy to hear from him since we have not always been so close over the years. The lack of closeness was not for any lack of love, but perhaps for just a general lack of understanding about how our life experiences have been so different. J is a 36 year old adoptee who is just beginning to come to terms with his situation in life.

His has been a long journey complete with five failed marriages, a string of fathered but un-parented children (some placed for adoption),... more

Yesterday and today have been crazy busy at my house with preparations for the Birthmother’s Day Event we host that is being held in Charlotte, North Carolina this year. My computer crashed last week so that has made things extra difficult as I had to redo a lot of files.

I have about a million things on my to do list for today before I head down to Charlotte in the morning and unfortunately I know I will not find the time to blog again until next week. I look forward to sharing details of our event with you all next week though!

But, I just wanted to take a moment to wish each of you a peaceful Mother’s Day weekend. I hope each of is able to do something special for yourself... more

On Sunday morning, when I arrived at church, I had a surprise! I was walking Noah to his classroom when out of the corner of my eye; I see Charlie or a child that looked like Charlie. Honestly, I thought I was hallucinating! I thought I was loosing my mind and that every little boy Charlie’s age was beginning to look like him!

But a second after seeing Charlie, I saw his sister, N. And a moment later I see Charlie’s adoptive mom, A. Whew! I wasn’t hallucinating! Obviously, they normally don’t go to my church so it was a pleasant surprise to see them there.... more

I apologize for my recent absence here from the blogs. My twelve year old nephew was killed in a tragic accident late Friday night/Saturday morning and I have been dealing with family stuff and just have not had the energy to write.

I’m ready to write again. I’ve missed blogging but just haven’t had the mental energy to do it this past week. I’m ready to have a little bit of normalcy back in my life!

I have some good ideas to write about so stay tuned!.