As my thirty first birthday draws near, I find myself thinking a lot about who I am, the person I have become and a good bit of my identity is wrapped up in motherhood. I can always remember wanting to be a mother. It’s something that I knew I was destined to be. I can’t remember a time in which I never thought that I would be a mother.

As a child, I can remember playing Mommy and House with my dolls in my little fisher price kitchen. As I matured into middle school age, I remember day dreaming with my friends and coming up with these really horrible names of what... more

When my oldest was just a baby, and I first began coming to Adoption.com to frequent the chat room, the question I was most asked was, “what is your connection to adoption?” Basically they wanted to know how my piece fit into this puzzle they were trying to place together for themselves.

Often I limited my response to A-mom, or adoptive mother, but my experience with adoption goes far beyond just this basic tag. Although some of my life situations do not fall under the legal concept of adoption, they most certainly follow the patterns... more

If you are a new reader of this blog, sometimes it can be a little overwhelming trying to figure out the gist of my personal adoption story. You may have to read through a few lengthy posts to understand who everyone is, how they are related, the sequence of events, etc.

In order to make it easier for new readers to understand, (at the suggestion of a new reader) I am writing this post which will contain a brief synopsis of my adoption story along with the important people in my life who are mentioned frequently in this blog. This post will serve as a “cliff notes” version of... more

Continuing from my last post in sharing the story of Patty, an adoptee and an adoptive mother

After Patty married her husband, they began trying to conceive but were unsuccessful trying to conceive naturally so they turned to in vitro fertilization. When their IVF attempts failed, Patty became very depressed.

“Because I was adopted, I felt an even stronger desire to want a biological child, to have someone look like me, and to be connected to someone biologically.... more

Over the past few days, I have been sharing the stories of three different women who each wear more than one “adoption hat,” meaning they hold dual “roles” in the adoption triad. I’ve shared with you the story of Lisa, who is a birthmom and an adoptee and I’ve shared the story of Kacy, who is a birthmother and an adoptive mother. Today, I’ll share the third story in this short... more

Continuing from the last post of Kacy’s story of being both a birthmother and an adoptive mother…

Kacy and her husband now reside in Florida. They tried unsuccessfully to conceive a child for four years. When she initially brought up adoption, Kacy’s husband shared that he feared he might not be able to love that was not his biological child so she just put the thought on the back burner to give him time to think about it and they continued to try and... more

In yesterday’s post, I discussed that there are some members of the adoption triad who wear more than one adoption “hat” meaning that they hold more than one position in the triad. Thus far, I have shared the story of Lisa, who is a birthmother and an adoptee.

Today, in continuing with this short series of discussing triad members who have more that one “position” in the adoption triad, I’ll share with you the story of a second woman. Let me introduce you to... more

Continued from Part 1

Lisa initially began searching for her birthmother during her pregnancy as she really wanted to have a medical history to be able to share with her son but did not have much luck.

Once their adoption became open, for the first time Lisa was able to know someone who looked like her and had some of the same personality traits that she did. This made the urge for her to search for her birthmother even stronger.

Finally, after... more

I find it interesting that some people in the adoption triad wear more than one adoption “hat,” meaning that they hold more than one position in the adoption triad. Since becoming active in the adoption community, I have learned that each triad member has their own set of emotions as a result of their “position” in the adoption triad. It’s hard enough to deal with the emotions of just one triad role, but two??

Recently, I interviewed three different women who have dual roles in the adoption triad. They have each been kind enough to share their unique... more

I admit that I haven’t been to church to faithfully recently. I wasn’t feeling well one week, J had to work early another week, etc... But we were able to make it today. It felt like today’s sermon was written just for me. It really hit home and has me thinking.

I have been struggling with my grief lately. There is the grief involved with placing Charlie for adoption. I don’t think I will ever be done grieving that loss. As he continues to achieve milestones and grow older, I know there will be certain times in which the grief is worse but I don’t think I will ever... more