There are times when being a birthparent creeps up on me unexpectedly. While my son is never too far from my thoughts, I don’t think about adoption twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and while I am a birth mother and my role in Charlie’s life is very important to me, it’s just one of the many hats I wear. So, I’ll be minding my own business (so to speak) watching television or reading, and boom! There’s something regarding birthparents right in front of my face.

The premiere of the Beverly Hills 90210 spin off is a prime example. From what I had read about... more

I admit that while reading stories of other birthmothers online that I will tear up. It really doesn’t matter what the exact situation is, it’s just some of the thoughts and feelings are the same. But when I read this, I wasn’t just teary, I was weeping.

A friend read the blog post linked above and told me about it. It is one of the most eloquently written stories of a birthmother that I have ever read. It’s not actually written by the birthmother but by her daughter who was just finding... more

In my last post, I shared bits and pieces of an interview with birthmom and author, Patricia Dischler. Patricia previously shared her experience with her semi open adoption that turned into an open adoption when her son was twelve.

Like any situation, there are positives and negatives involved. For Patricia, the positives to her situation were that she never really felt like she was saying goodbye to her son. She made the decision to place him for adoption because she wanted him... more

Recently I was having a conversation with an adult adoptee, E. We were discussing the fact that some people can not see to grasp the fact that a child (grown or not) can love more than one mother or father. She was explaining to me how many of her extended family members were shocked when she began to search for her birth mother. They didn’t understand that it is possible for her to love both her birthmother and her adoptive mother. She wondered aloud if her adoption had been open (instead of closed as that was the era she was born in) if her extended family would have been... more

It is hard to believe that it is already the end of April! May is going to be a super busy month for me, so I probably will not be around as much as usual.

One of the things I will be busy with is the Birthmother’s Get Together that BirthMom Buds hosts each year. It is on May 10th this year in Charlotte, North Carolina. It seems to get a little bigger and better every year. I’m especially excited about this year as we have added some elements that I have wanted to have since we started having these but we knew we had to start... more

If you are a regular reader then you have probably noticed that I haven’t been writing as much as usual lately. I have been so sick this winter and just can not seem to stay well. I’m left feeling emotionally and physically exhausted which makes it difficult to write at times.

I did manage to get permission from my doctor to go on a retreat from women with my church this past weekend. He thinks that some of the reason why I can’t seem to get well and stay well could be stress so we both thought that maybe a change of scenery in the fresh mountain air of North Carolina... more

As there are only a few days left in 2007, I have been reflecting back over the past year and all the things that have happened in my life that personally relate to adoption. It hasn’t been a terrible year but it hasn’t been the best either.

The biggest thing that happened adoption related in my life was that Charlie’s Mom and Dad separated in January, although I didn’t mention it publicly until September. One of my reasons for making an adoption plan in the first place was because I already had... more

Back when my husband and I adopted our first child, I think we were in the belief that adoption was an experience more than it was a process. We naively went along for awhile as if once the adoption was final, we could move on to the next stage in our family life and that would be that. Of course we had openness and contact with several of our oldest daughter’s birthfamily members, but we assumed that the issues inherent to adoption, were also mostly dispensed with when the adoption was finalized. Boy did we have so much to learn!

With many years, and the addition of two other children,... more

We had a big scare around here yesterday. I turned the television on at noon to catch some of the local news and what do I see, but Noah’s school on the news! I stop to pay closer attention and I hear the reporter say that his school is on lockdown because of a gunman who came to the school, flashed his gun around, and then ran off! Of course, I begin freaking out! I wasn’t sure what to do or who to call so I just prayed.

Thankfully no one was hurt and apparently the gun man never made it into Noah’s school. He was a mentally disabled adult who received services from the adult center that shares... more

Today is my thirty first birthday and it has me thinking about my life. If you’d asked me ten years ago where I’d be today, I’d never have guessed I’d be living in small town southern America. I had big dreams; I wanted to tour the world singing, visit Paris, and end up living in New York or somewhere big and glamorous. You are probably wondering, what happened?

I became a Mother and my life changed. The things that once seemed important no longer seemed important anymore. I suddenly didn’t dream of visiting Paris, seeing Disney World through my child’s eyes sounds much more exciting... more