I hate it when you try so hard, when you really have all hope and faith that something will change, and it doesn’t.

Tonight I learned that one of my children’s birthparents is again in a world of trouble. In the past this was also the case, but in the last year things seemed to be turning around for them, life appeared to be coming together. I have no idea why this suddenly changed again, but I know that the impact of today will be felt in our house for a long time to come. What makes someone want to turn their back on everything possibly... more

As adoptive parents one of the most important things we can do for our children is to understand and acknowledge the birth “bond.” This can also be one of the most difficult things to do as the whole concept hits us in our most sensitive area, our own loss. Having a child by way of adoption, though joyful and fulfilling our need to nurture and become parents, can also remind us of our loss, the loss of the birth bond with our child.

What is the bond? Perhaps many do not even understand the difference between the “bond” of birth and the “attachment”... more

Jan recently did a wonderful blog about being PC, or politically correct, when writing in the adoption world. She definitely has a valid point. Persons from all sides of the adoption experience have sensitive, or flag words and phrases that can feel down right wrong, judgmental or offensive to them when reading adoption related writing. I really enjoyed Jan’s tips very much and found them to be helpful advice to those of us who are writing to a varied, adoption experienced... more

Part One

Today part two of the Dr. Phil show’s episode tagged “Adoption Scams” aired.

As I observed with the first half of the show yesterday, things went fairly well without a lot of the negative adoption stereotypes I was gritting my teeth waiting to encounter. The show continued where they left off in Thursday’s episode, focusing on three hopeful adoptive moms who were trying to confront “Melissa." The woman Melissa had posed to them as a pregnant mother... more

Today the Dr. Phil show began a two part series on “Adoption Scams.”

I admit that I had my glass of tea in hand, my sofa cushion fluffed and was ready to watch and see where exactly he was going with this one. Other recent shows (Dateline, Montel) have done a poor job of the topic and sensationalized an already misunderstood problem. I even cut a phone conversation with my mother in law short because she called in the middle of the program (she had to tell me she had just set her... more

I admit I do not care for all the safe haven laws that have become a new trend. These laws supposedly encourage young women not to harm their newborns and abandon them at a facility like a hospital or fire station, without fear of legal action against them. In the long run though a child might be abandoned by someone other than the mother and without her permission. Children abandoned in this way also lose the ability to in the future search for birth family and know their history. I understand the thought process is to somehow save lives, but this... more

I want to tell you about L and W.

They adopted a newborn A, several years ago from a young mother M who had many harsh issues in her life. There was a long history of mental illness, drug use, abuse, violence, prostitution, homelessness and inevitably incarceration.

L and W held high hopes for M, they wanted her to recover and be an active part of her child A’s life. They wanted a very open adoption. In the early years they stayed in close contact with M’s family. They sent information through them to M about A, all... more

An interesting theory has come up lately that every adoption could and should be an open one.

Ideally that would be great, but honestly how realistic is it?

I have no doubt that most birthparents care about their children, many have a lot to offer even though they are not parenting them. Open adoption can be a wonderful and positive thing for a child and I encourage everyone to consider if it is possible for them. If it is possible for them. I am also all too aware that there are some birthparents who just cannot... more

Continued from Part 1 I went in search of the experts opinions on the benefits of open adoption and found some interesting information. Before I begin explaining why some of the experts favor open adoption, let’s define what the experts see as the goals of open adoptions.

To minimize the child's loss of relationships To maintain and celebrate the adopted child's connections with all the important people... more

Today on Oprah the topic was the great divide between stay at home mothers and those who work outside the home. This seems to be a battle that has pit mom against mom for far to long. Each side holds beliefs they feel are benefitting their children, but neither completely agreeing that there is more than one way to be a good mother.

I could not help but see a correlation between this ongoing struggle about who is right and wrong among the mommies of the... more