Ah weekends!

Most people look forward to the weekends for relaxation and a break from the hectic rushing around and tight schedules Monday through Friday. . . But not me. I actually dread the weekends because the dramatic change in our daily routine is more like a major, emotional disruption for my middle daughter Cierra. To say that she does not handle the weekend change well would be a vast understatement. This kid crashes, and she crashes hard.

I think I figured out a long time ago that our kids, meaning all children who have been placed for adoption, do... more

Today was my middle daughter’s therapy appointment, although as it turned out, the conversation seemed to gravitate to more about how well I , her mom, am dealing (or not dealing) with everything. I freely admit that I am often a mess, and still at times emotionally challenged by many of my own issues from childhood. This fact frequently comes through in many of our sessions, and even though she is a new therapist for us, she is quickly catching on to me.

The new therapist is a great lady. For some strange reason she makes me think of Nancy... more

Well here I am again, finding myself lost in a sea of emotions concerning adoption, attachment, therapy, birthparents, (sometimes blogging) and mostly just daily living. Some days I really feel like I am getting nowhere, but then I remember “nowhere” is still a place. It might not be where I was yesterday, or where I need to be tomorrow, but I still am someplace right now, and learning to live in this place is my job of the moment.

So as part of living in my moment here, my five year old has begun with a new therapist today. There seems... more

School has been back in session for a few weeks here now, and the difference can surely be appreciated around my house. There are actually days when I can begin a coherent thought, and follow it through to the end now!

I admit that I had some troubling doubts about how well my five year old, my RAD-ish (a term I borrow from one of Nancy Spoolstra’s wonderful readers), would handle the intensity of a long, anxiety filled day. I am very pleased to say that she is actually doing pretty well. She really enjoys and looks... more

Tomorrow is our first day back at school, and lets just say I am a bit anxious. Of course I am wondering how my five year old (with RAD added) will adjust to being at school all day long, but I am not as worried as I could be I suppose. I know she has done well for the last two years in half day preschool programs there. Consistency is key. Even better news is one of her preschool teachers has stepped up to take over the Kindergarten class, since the previous teacher retired at the end of last year. She is familiar with this teacher, and the teacher... more

The best thing about being with someone for so very long, is that they get to know just what you need to pick yourself up from a really rough spot. They remember you when, as in when you were not so chubby, sporting so much grey hair, and how hot you once looked in leg warmers. Thankfully I have just that in my “retro love”, my husband of eighteen plus years, J. He knows this week has taken a toll on my sanity, and he understands why. Our dear five year old daughter mostly never lets a person catch their breath before the battle begins anew, so today he attempted... more

Being adoptive parents has certainly been a very different journey than my husband and I might have had with biological kids. Aside from the obvious things, children who do not look like us, who have emotional challenges as a result of adoption, and have a history and other relationships that precede our family, one really huge thing for us has been discovering special needs in a child we had assumed was born healthy.

Our middle child appears to be a beautiful, healthy little girl. Being there from the moment she entered the world somehow left us... more

This is the week of the county fair in my area and the excitement is beginning to build for opening festivities on Wednesday night. Along with carnival rides, animal showings, tons of funnel cakes and cotton candy, there is the Little Miss and Mr.Contest and our Cierra is entered this year.

Lately our “Little Miss” is in one of her angry and combative cycles every time we turn around though, not solid contestant material to say the least. I am thinking if they gave out a ribbon for “Miss Antagonist” she would win this one... more

In the last two weeks we have had a lot going on, and if you were around my kids today you would have seen them crashing with the after effects. Today was our first “calm” day at home after almost 10 days of vacationing in various locations. There was a ton of fighting, screaming, and other discipline issues beyond the norm for all three of them. I know this is most likely a release from all the changes in the last two weeks, but it has been exhausting.

I think for all children change is a scary thing, but for adopted kids that fear... more

"One of the tragicomic scenes in nature is a pair of small foster parents working like Sisyphus to keep up with the voracious appetite of an outsized young cowbird.” - The Birder's Handbook

Attachment is fresh on my mind. After a therapy session with my middle daughter yesterday, followed by her very frustrating poor behavior today, I am feeling more than a little bit whooped. In the midst of my daughter’s screaming tirade, and while attempting to look for interesting blog matter,... more