Dealing with a little extra stress at Christmas time seems to be something most of us who have an adoption connection can relate to. My friend Coley, as well as several others here have blogged about how difficult this time of year can be, no matter what your place in the triad. I admit that I often confront many emotional issues myself during the holiday season. Beyond worrying about the normal things like having all my gifts purchased, getting my decorating and baking done,... more

In my last post, I talked about how the holidays aren’t always merry for everyone and how they can be hard for birthmothers. But I do have suggestions on ways you can cope and get through this holiday season.

You may feel like locking yourself in your house and not coming out until after the New Year, but isolating yourself totally may not be the healthiest of ideas. (Although I do realize we all need down time, so that will be covered more in the next post.) You may benefit... more

Trimming the tree, buying gifts, holiday parties, trips to see Santa, special church services, baking cookies, Christmas morning breakfast; the holiday season is supposed to be a festive one. Many friends and families come together to celebrate this festive season. Yet, the happiest time of the year isn’t always happy for everyone. There are many people who have lost loved ones who have a really hard time during the holidays.

The holidays are also a busy and stressful time of the year for many people, even those without loss. The constant activities, holiday parties, and... more

A reader recently asked this question:

“This Christmas will be my (birth) daughter’s first Christmas. She is just three months old and I am struggling with what to get her. What do you give a three month old?”

Obviously a three month old isn’t going to know what you have given her. She won’t remember it later. But as a birthmother, I can understand why you want to give her a gift and why it is stressful to come up with a gift that is just right.

Charlie was just around three months old his first Christmas and I can remember thinking... more

Over the past few days in some of my Christmas posts, I’ve mentioned that I give Charlie an ornament each year as part of his Christmas presents. This really didn’t start out as a tradition but it certainly has turned into one.

When searching for something to give Charlie his first Christmas, I came across a really neat Precious Moments Christmas “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament that had a spot to write his name, birth date, weight, and length. I purchased the ornament and thought what a neat keepsake item it would be for him to have one day in the future.

The next... more

I love gifts that incorporate a child’s photo into the gift and nowadays there are so many different kinds of gifts that you can give that use a photo. These gifts are great for anyone in a child’s birth family such as their birthmom or birth grandparents and some are also appropriate for a birthmom to give her child. Below are some of my favorite photo gifts.

Calendar ~ You can have calendars made nowadays that feature a different chosen photo for each month. I don’t know any birthmother who wouldn’t love a calendar starring her child! I just made one of these easily through Shutterfly... more

That is one very special ornament you are looking at. It’s special to me for many different reasons.

First of all, I love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday of the year. Although at times, being a birthmother during the holidays can be tough, it is still one of my favorite times of the year. I love decorating my home for the holidays and decorating my Christmas tree. In years past, I have had a “themed tree” where all the ornaments and decorations on the tree and in my living room were a part of some sort of theme like snowmen or angels. But this year, I just wanted to put... more

A birthmother recently asked me this question:

My child has a sibling via adoption. When I send a gift for my child should I send a gift for her sibling too?

This probably just personal preference and not all birthmothers may agree, but when giving a gift to Charlie, I do give a gift to his sister as well. I do this for a few reasons.

First of all, Charlie’s sister, N, is important to me too. One of the reasons I chose the family I did to be Charlie’s adoptive family was because of N. It was important to me that Charlie have a sibling... more

Buying Christmas gifts (or any gift for that matter) for our birth children can sometimes be very emotional. It’s often hard to know exactly what to get our children too since we are not with them every day.

I think Charlie’s second Christmas was my most difficult. Noah had just had major surgery and been in and out of the hospital for the surgery and rehabilitation afterwards so I was sleep deprived and stressed anyways, then add the emotions of dealing with Charlie’s second Christmas and it wasn’t a very happy holiday. I had a major breakdown wrapping Charlie’s gift that year... more

As the Christmas holidays are drawing closer, I find myself thinking of what I will get Charlie for Christmas this year. Each year, when I talk to A. on Thanksgiving I ask her what Charlie and N want for Christmas. I make notes and I look for the things they have on their “want list”. I usually get them each a couple of small things and then of course, the ornament I give them each year which has become a tradition.

This year, I find myself wanting to buy so much stuff for Charlie. I see things everywhere that remind me of him and that are things that A. mentioned he wanted... more