Many adoptive and birth families that I have talked with have said that while they normally love gift giving, choosing a present for the "other side" can be difficult. Reasons include not knowing the size a child/adult now wears, not knowing them intimately enough to guess what a good gift would be or not knowing their new interests (among many other reasons). It's true, of course. Interests change. Children (and adults!) grow. And without that day-to-day contact, it's hard to decide whether something you feel will be a good gift really will.

As such, I... more

The holidays are coming. Whine, moan and tell me I'm talking about it far too early and then stick your head in the sand. But it doesn't change the facts: they're coming. And, here, I'll make you feel worse: I'm done shopping for my boys minus one present that needs the truck to pick it up for my older son and their stocking stuffers. Hate me even more now? It's okay. I'm about to help you out!

Whether you're a birth parent in an open adoption trying to figure out what presents your child might like or an adoptive parent trying to come up with a meaningful... more

I know that Halloween is still one week and one day away. But, trust me, it is time to start thinking about, discussing and planning your holiday. (Not just for those in open adoptions, mind you! All of us!) But it is especially important for those involved in open adoptions to take the time to make these plans in advance. Why?

I'm sure you know how busy the holiday season is and how your calendar fills up quickly. I'm sure you have had to tell people no when they have asked for get-togethers, parties and other things at the last minute. I'm sure you have... more

Easter is Sunday! Can you believe it? It really doesn’t feel like it; or at least to me it doesn’t! Partially on my part it could be because I have been so sick and under the weather from what they thought was the flu and now have decided is a stomach ulcer. But, it could also be in part because Easter is coming early this year.

It’s good in a way that Easter is early and I just haven’t had much of a chance to think about it yet this year as I haven’t started the bittersweet dread I have with some holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I love holidays. I typically (when I’m feeling... more

First of all, let me wish all of my readers a very Merry Christmas. I hope that you were able to spend the day (or at least part of it) with loved ones. I hope you had a peaceful day as well.

My Christmas was nice; busy, but nice. It started out busy because of all the things that I must do as the Mom of another child, one that I am parenting. Ya know, stuffing the stockings and all that. It's days like today that I am all the more thankful for the child I am parenting because he takes my mind off the one that I am not. Often times through out the day today, when... more

Well it is 1:00am here, we are back from our church’s candlelight service, kids are asleep, and these stockings are about to get stuffed!

To everyone out there have a very Merry Christmas!

The picture with this post is one I took earlier in the week, mom fooling around and pretending to be one of ‘Santa’s elves.’ Honestly I look like I have ingested way too much eggnog (light on the egg, heavy on the nog.) I think it is funny, but I also know that this is a picture of the me that has really been missing for some time now.... more

I have not been here much, even after I swore that I was back! Another bout with illness, a minor family feud, a holiday visit with one birthfamily, and a BAD case of ‘ not even close to being ready for Christmas day ' have all sadly kept me away from the computer.

We did not even think that we would squeeze in a visit with Santa this year, but luckily we were able to go to the mall on the 22nd and get our traditional picture on his lap. I am happy to report that my oldest, almost 11 now, still has a wonderful, innocent belief in the jolly old elf. This year... more

In the last few posts, I have been discussing ways to get through the holidays since Christmas is a tough time of year for many birthmothers. I’ve discussed things you can do with others and the importance of one on one time with yourself. In this post, we will discuss ways to honor your child in his or her absence from your family’s holidays. Depending on how much your family knows about your adoption and how supportive they are of it, you may wish to include them in some of these ideas, although you can certainly do them on your own too.

The ornament... more

With all the sad,sad, attention grabbing headlines right now, I have found myself having to call heavily on my faith and belief in forgiveness in order to see hope for those families, and also for myself in my own struggles. After so many have been quick to toss the proverbial stones, I am glad to see that some also have extended the hope of forgiveness to these families in the stories.

These lives have gone so wrong, many of us cannot seem to wrap our minds around it. Things did not seem to be able to be fixed for them, and the result of the pent up frustration... more

In my last post, I discussed ways that you can reach out and be with others while you are struggling with your emotions during the holidays. While you shouldn’t lock yourself in your home until after the New Year, there are times during the holidays where the constant activity becomes too much and you may need alone time. You need time to deal with your emotions and to reflect.

If your holiday season is as hectic as mine, you may actually have to schedule down time. I know... more