In the last two weeks we have had a lot going on, and if you were around my kids today you would have seen them crashing with the after effects. Today was our first “calm” day at home after almost 10 days of vacationing in various locations. There was a ton of fighting, screaming, and other discipline issues beyond the norm for all three of them. I know this is most likely a release from all the changes in the last two weeks, but it has been exhausting.

I think for all children change is a scary thing, but for adopted kids that fear... more

My two youngest children are so funny. Cierra and Carson are only 18 scant months apart in age, as close to artificial twining as I will get, and yet they are several light years apart in every other aspect imaginable. While I know they come from different biological families, I am often struck by how these two are as opposite in every possible way as any siblings could ever be. Ok, some days I laugh, while others I pull my hair out!

I could begin by noting the most obvious ways they are not alike, or even in the same zip code. Of course Cierra is a she,... more

Today I finally was able to experience what my son’s first mother did when she first learned she was expecting, I got to see his tiny little beating heart on a sonogram screen.

I know he is three years old, and I know that I did not get to experience the added wonder of feeling his little heart beating from inside my womb, but it caught me off guard with a sense of wonder none the less. I was face to face with that smoothly pumping, sweetly ticking little part that makes life and everything else possible, my child’s beautiful beating heart. For my... more

I admit I am probably the supreme procrastinator of all time. I always seem to miss the opportunities to preserve those special moments in life because I am so wrapped up in the actual living of the moment itself. Countless times I have found myself looking back and wishing I had taken more photos, video, and written in that expensive baby book. I should have put the Dr.’s notes of the kids milestones and growth where I could later find them (and differentiate whose was whose). I wish that I had made the phone calls, written the letters, taken the... more

After just arriving home today from a long vacation, one would think I would be rested and ready to go with may new and exciting ideas about adoption, unfortunately this is not the case. I found you can go away for however long you like, but the same tough issues still seem to travel with you. Those issues don’t especially change, and they don’t ever seem to go away. Adoption issues don't take a vacation. Apparently while I was away, this battle about the perceptions of adoption, who is right and who is wrong went on with out me. I am ok with being excluded... more

I know that many discussions have occurred online about family preservation. The main feeling behind this is terminology that no child should be separated from their family of origin if they can be safely be cared for there, and whose parent (or parents) wish to raise them. I can’t argue with that belief under that context. If parents what to parent, and there is no evidence that a child might be abused or neglected, he or she should not be placed for adoption. No one who is capable, and not at risk to be abusive, should be forced to place a child. I think most... more

Recently, Heather refreshed the memory of her readers, by clearly sharing her core views about adoption. For those who might be a bit “hard of reading”, they were in bold so the point could be easily grasped. I was not surprised by anything there, her views have remained the same as they were years ago when she wrote a publication for the organization C.U.B., “What you should know if you are considering adoption for your baby”.

At... more

This has been one challenging week, it is a good thing our family is heading to Branson for eight days of R & R starting Saturday! We plan to re-connect with friends there who are also adoptive parents of three children around the same ages as ours. Part of the plan is to attempt to pull our heads above all the recent stresses, and find our way back to the real reasons that we chose to adopt our children in the first place, to be a family.

When I was a young girl I know I dreamed of becoming a mommy,... more

TODAY show guests talked about the new study on birth order today, but sadly no mention of non-conventional family types like step, foster, or adoptive families. I was really hoping for some of the new light on old research to include my family, and shed some light on what goes on with my own three children. The most confusing thing is that this study seems to site... more

Siblings – aren’t they important in one’s life? Surely you have fond memories of your brother pulling your hair or your sister hogging the bathroom.

Regardless of how well you got along with your sibling(s), you were connected. Adoption can complicate that connection. Children may not really understand the connections since adoptive and birth families are unlike all the other typically families out there.

One of the reasons open adoption was so important to me is the fact that I wanted Noah and Charlie to be able to know one another and to... more