Well last week, because everyone in our house was ill, except for the five year old, who decided to be ill today, we missed the scheduled parent- teacher conferences. Now I can honestly say that I was not really looking forward to the darn things. Of course some of that has to do on some level with adoption. The school has a decided lack of understanding about what I am trying to share with them, concerning the issues adopted children face.

I think my husband and I chose this particular, religious school, with the misguided perception that we would somehow be giving our... more

While there are often comments that people say directly to us knowing that we are birthmothers, many times there are comments or situations that may hurt us as birthmothers that people are not intentionally directing towards us or even meanto be hurtful. No one tells you before you become a birthmother about the normal everyday conversations that may become difficult at times.

For example, J, a friend who is a birthmother was recently discussing a comment that someone made that that cut her to the core. The comment was not directed towards her and the person wasn’t intentionally being mean. She was just venting to some other ladies at church about some of the things that new mothers... more

It’s Noah’s eleventh birthday today and Charlie is catching up to him as he just turned six last month. It’s so weird to write that, so very odd to think I have two children, two wild, rowdy boys (maybe not living in my home, but two children just the same) that are eleven and six years old!

Can someone please explain to me where the time went? Better yet, can someone please stop the clock so they will not grow any older! I can remember each of my boys being born, just as if it were yesterday. Noah barely weighed four pounds and twelve ounces while Charlie, who was born... more

"We should not be asking who this child belongs to, but who belongs to this child."

- Jim Gritter

Not long ago Jenna did a great and very in depth review of Jim Gritter’s book “Life Givers”, that I highly recommend reading (both book and review.) For me this one comment by the author sums up the concept of a child-centered open adoption perfectly. It really is about who belongs to the child, and how they each contribute to what is needed for the child over... more

Well fall here has finally decided to step into the place the summer has been most reluctant to vacate in a timely manner. The temperatures have dropped, and dropped fast, going from almost ninety degrees on Monday to a brisk sixty-three today. While I am not one to complain about the cooler days, I will say I would have liked a more gradual let down, so to speak.

Along with missing that slow, colorful simmer down from our hot summer into the current crisp early October, I am feeling low about missing something special that fall usually brings out for myself and my... more

I shall be called by a new name, embraced by a fresh pair of arms, but I shall come and go, the eternal me. --- Rabindranath Tagore

I remember when we welcomed home our first daughter, feeling mesmerized with wonder about all the possibilities of who, over time, she would reveal herself to be. I loved thinking about how those tiniest of personality traits, and qualities may already be budding and developing. It was our new job to uncover and nurture those innate qualities... more

If anyone ever asks me about the type of work that I do blogging here, I usually describe it as having to do with adoption, and educational in nature. Of course I am hoping to educate others, but I am also involved in my own seemingly endless learning process at the same time. With that in mind you would think that things in my own household are fairly well understood concerning adoption issues right? Well apparently, as I found out today, you would be VERY wrong!

This morning I almost choked on my breakfast, when I over heard a conversation my... more

Last Friday I went on a field trip to the apple orchard wit Charlie, his mom, and his whole class full of Kindergartners. Chaperoning a field trip is a fun thing for a Mom. My Mom used to chaperone our field trips when I was a child and I’ve been on a few field trips with Noah’s class over the years. However, as a birthmother this is something that I never thought I would be able to experience with Charlie. We had a really good time and this trip is something that I will treasure in my memories forever.

There were those funny moments and those moments of total chaos... more

Well here I am again, finding myself lost in a sea of emotions concerning adoption, attachment, therapy, birthparents, (sometimes blogging) and mostly just daily living. Some days I really feel like I am getting nowhere, but then I remember “nowhere” is still a place. It might not be where I was yesterday, or where I need to be tomorrow, but I still am someplace right now, and learning to live in this place is my job of the moment.

So as part of living in my moment here, my five year old has begun with a new therapist today. There seems... more

Today after school I get handed a little note by my fifth-grader that just crashed my mood for the rest of the evening. It was a notice that she will be attending a detention on Monday for “failing to turn in assignments.” Apparently three missed assignments in one day, earns you the detention.

Well one of the papers her father and I were aware of, she had forgotten to bring it home in her folder to complete. The other two papers in question were only missing one answer on each, and this was because her dad was unsure of what the teacher was looking for, so he instructed... more