Mommy?

Yes honey. . .

You dopted me so that I was going to be taken care of right? So R could not take care of me cause she was getting into trouble but she did not think that I would get into trouble with you right?

Well I think she knew you would be taken care of. . .

So she was scared I would get into trouble with her?

I think she wanted you to be taken care of, I am not sure she thought she would be able to. . .

But... more

I’m going to begin a short little series on some of the things that may arise and that you may have to deal with in your adoption situation.

One of your rights as a mother is to name your baby, even if you are making an adoption plan, naming your baby is still your right. The adoptive parents then have the right to re-name the child. In some open adoptions nowadays, birthparents and adoptive parents will discuss the child’s name before hand and come to an agreed name. In other cases where the birthmom names her child, adoptive parents may keep the first... more

One of my biggest day to day concerns has been tackling the difficult situations in our three open adoptions and making them into something positive and workable for our family. Sometimes I find myself hiding those things and then suddenly blurting something out here when it reaches a high frustration point for me. I have decided that taking those issues and talking about them and what I am doing about them on a more regular basis might make for an interesting Monday series. So each Monday I will be discussing something that has proved difficult... more

My son Noah (the one I parent, in case you are a newcomer) loves space. He loves astronauts, space shuttles, rockets, stars, planets. Basically, just about anything that has to do with space. He wants to take a vacation to the moon! He wants to take a doggie with him to the moon! He even asked for a REAL space shuttle with keys for Christmas! I don’t know how long his space obsession will last, if it will continue into his adult hood or not, but we view it as a good thing and certainly encourage it by buying him space books, toy space shuttles, t shirts with... more

I wish I had a perky post ready for today, but that just is not the way my life is currently going. My four year old has been pushing me near the brink today and right now I feel very, very alone.

A few months back we finally, after almost two years of struggling, took her to a therapist and Reactive Attachment Disorder was brought up. I had always felt that children who suffered from this were mainly those who had lived deprived of early attention in an overseas orphanage, or even severely abused children in our own foster... more

I don’t know how many of you out there are American Idol fans, but I am and tune in most of the time. All the annoying auditions are over, America’s voted, and we are into the top final twelve. One was sent home at the end of the show Wednesday night.

For those of you who don’t watch much Idol, once you get to the final 12 contestants, each week is a themed week and the contestants have to perform a song that fits in with that theme or genre of music. This week’s theme was Dianna Ross songs and she came earlier in the week and worked with each of the... more

This is one of my very favorite photos of my son and his birthmom P. The picture was taken at the mother’s home where P had lived during her pregnancy, right after we had returned from court and finalizing Carson’s adoption. The get together that day was impromptu, but memorable. We agreed to meet at the mother’s home because P wanted to show Carson off to her many friends still residing there. Looking back now I wonder at some of the skeptical looks we received when the ladies learned who my husband and I were, but at the time I was happy and more focused on P than them.

I... more

Today my oldest daughter Danika received a thank you note in the mail. The note was about a gift she recently sent to her niece for her first birthday. Yup my girl is not quite ten and already an aunt. Danika’s biological older sister A had a baby girl last February. We have seen the baby a few times, she is a little cutie. She looks something like my daughter did at that age, only chunkier. It is a bit of a worry some situation to me. While I have seen no evidence that this teen mom is not doing a good job, with a little more direction from her... more

Recently my hubby J and I were discussing Charlie, his adoption, different adoption scenarios, and the role that birthparents can or can not play in particular adoption situations.

J is not Charlie’s birthfather. There has never been any involvement on Charlie’s birthfathers part and I don’t foresee that changing in the near future. J was there for me during my pregnancy, the decision making process where I had to choose parenting or adoption, and then once I decided on adoption, he supported me through the adoption process. Had I chosen to parent, he... more

Lots of readers have been emailing me lately with topic requests. I am loving it, so keep it coming!

One adoptive mother recently asked:

”We are in a semi open adoption with our child’s birthmother and send her pictures every other month. I am wondering if we should send pictures of our daughter with ourselves and other family members or just send pictures of our daughter only. Also, I was going to write things on the back of the photo if there is a little story about something going on in the picture. Is that a good idea? I don’t want... more