Most kids have been back in school for a few weeks now. School started here at the end of August. Charlie is now in the first grade.

When Charlie went to his first day of Kindergarten two years ago I was pretty emotional. Like so many of the moments in open adoption, it was bittersweet. I was of course, excited for Charlie, but at the same time I was well aware of what I was missing.

Also, like many of the moments I have experienced in my adoption, I thought that those moments would be isolated to that year. I thought the feelings I was experiencing were... more

There are times when being a birthparent creeps up on me unexpectedly. While my son is never too far from my thoughts, I don’t think about adoption twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and while I am a birth mother and my role in Charlie’s life is very important to me, it’s just one of the many hats I wear. So, I’ll be minding my own business (so to speak) watching television or reading, and boom! There’s something regarding birthparents right in front of my face.

The premiere of the Beverly Hills 90210 spin off is a prime example. From what I had read about... more

A piece of me is missing. Six and a half years ago, when I made the decision to place my baby for adoption, I also gave away a piece of my heart.

At times, the hole or missing piece feels enormous. While at other times it might not feel quite as big, but it is always there. While I was making an adoption plan, I knew it was going to be difficult and I knew life would never be the same, but I didn’t realize that there would be days that my soul would literally ache for that child. I honestly somewhat bought into what others were telling me; that I would be able to move... more

For most children, walking is a pretty big milestone. Many parents marvel as their child takes their first few wobbly steps. For birthparents, it’s a milestone that we miss.

Charlie began walking around thirteen months old. I remember A telling me over the phone that he had begun taking some steps and holding onto things while walking. It really didn’t faze me much. When I saw him walking, it was kind of surreal to me. It wasn’t one of the bittersweet milestones like some of his other milestones were. I journaled about Charlie’s other milestones, but didn’t when he... more

The weather forecasters were predicting snow here in my part of the south but I wasn’t holding my breath as snow has been predicted many times and never come. We haven’t had snow in about two years. But low and behold, it snowed!

Needless to say, Noah was very excited when he woke up and saw all the “white stuff.” School was cancelled of course and the whole town pretty much came to a stand still because people in the south just don’t know how to cope with snow! There wasn’t really enough to do much with and by the time the sun came out today it was getting a little... more

Various team sports have always been a part of my life. Growing up, I went to many Mississippi State University football games, so many that Starkville felt like a second home to me at times. My brother and I both played baseball/softball. I’ve always enjoyed watching baseball too. Heck, I love baseball so much I got married on a baseball field!

Needless to say, when I was making my adoption plan I wanted a family that would introduce Charlie to different sports and then let him try whatever he was interested in. I knew that S and A would do this because they loved... more

Ah weekends!

Most people look forward to the weekends for relaxation and a break from the hectic rushing around and tight schedules Monday through Friday. . . But not me. I actually dread the weekends because the dramatic change in our daily routine is more like a major, emotional disruption for my middle daughter Cierra. To say that she does not handle the weekend change well would be a vast understatement. This kid crashes, and she crashes hard.

I think I figured out a long time ago that our kids, meaning all children who have been placed for adoption, do... more

Today was my middle daughter’s therapy appointment, although as it turned out, the conversation seemed to gravitate to more about how well I , her mom, am dealing (or not dealing) with everything. I freely admit that I am often a mess, and still at times emotionally challenged by many of my own issues from childhood. This fact frequently comes through in many of our sessions, and even though she is a new therapist for us, she is quickly catching on to me.

The new therapist is a great lady. For some strange reason she makes me think of Nancy... more

Charlie actually made this little turkey last year at school but I didn’t get it till Thanksgiving was long gone. It is the first piece of artwork of Charlie’s that I have been given. I pulled it out since Thanksgiving is so close!

This is no ordinary or plain turkey! On each one of the turkey’s many colorful feathers, as part of a homework assignment (since when do kindergartners have homework) Charlie’s Mom had to help him write down one thing he was thankful for on each feather.

I don’t know how clear the picture is or if you can read all the things Charlie is... more

There’s a big rule in my house: do not play in Noah’s wheelchair!

If you ask any of my nieces or nephews they will tell you that I’m a stickler about this rule. Now before you call me a big meanie, let me explain why. I want them to understand that the wheelchair is not a toy, its Noah’s legs and although they can get in and out of it as they please, Noah can’t. He’s stuck in that chair as his main form of mobility.

Charlie’s never paid the wheelchair too much attention in the past and I mainly thought that it was because it’s not as unusual to him as it is with... more