My co-blogger Coley has recently touched on how difficult yet rewarding birthday visits can be from the perspective of a birth/first parent. Events like holidays, but most especially the birthday of their child, can be very emotional times for birthparents. Coley shared some really great tips that could help both birth and adoptive families to better prepare themselves for visits during all the excitement of your... more

Birthdays are emotional for some members of the adoption triad. Below are a few ways you can help make those birthday parties fun and meaningful for all involved.

And just for clarification purposes I’m writing this post from my perspective, that of the birthmom, although some of these tips will probably be helpful to adoptive parents as well.

Go early or stay late -Try to schedule a little bit of one on one time before or after the party so you (birthmom) can spend a little bit of quiet time with your child. Parties can get crowded, noisy, busy, and overwhelming... more

Let’s take a trip down memory lane and discuss each of Charlie’s birthdays up to this point. He’s about to be six, so don’t worry, there’s not too many yet!

First Birthday Charlie’s first birthday was pretty emotional. I was very unsure of what to expect. A few weeks before Charlie’s first birthday, A called me and asked if I’d like to go shopping with her to choose the décor for his party. We met for lunch and went shopping and I helped her choose a bright and fun first birthday party set. That was very special that she asked me to do that and something... more

Most birthmothers would agree that their child’s birthday is a very emotional day for them.

In the days leading up to my son’s birthday, I find myself reliving all those last little moments he and I had together. I think about the last doctor’s appointment where they told me I need an ultrasound right away. Then, I relive that ultrasound, when they decided I needed to go to the hospital right away. I relive calling everyone who needed to be called and informing them an emergency c-section was ordered. I relive the excitement of meeting my son for the first time and spending time... more

Last weekend we went to a special celebration, the first birthday party of my daughter Cierra’s littlest brother D. Today is his actual birthday. Happy first birthday D !

It hardly seems possible that one year ago D was born! I remember feeling a lot of things when this little fellow arrived. I was mostly worried about how we would handle some of the more delicate issues of having a new birth sibling with our daughter. It is one thing when a new baby comes into the household, but more complex when that new baby is not going to be living... more

I know that many discussions have occurred online about family preservation. The main feeling behind this is terminology that no child should be separated from their family of origin if they can be safely be cared for there, and whose parent (or parents) wish to raise them. I can’t argue with that belief under that context. If parents what to parent, and there is no evidence that a child might be abused or neglected, he or she should not be placed for adoption. No one who is capable, and not at risk to be abusive, should be forced to place a child. I think most... more

Today is my husband’s 47th birthday! We did not plan a party, it has been busy around here with five children (two visiting teens) and poor dad even had to work on his day. Just because we were not able to do anything special, like a party, or invite guests, does not mean that we do not appreciate our daddy though. I am reminded everyday of how lucky we are to have him as ours!

When we first found out that we could not conceive a child, after seven long years of trying, my dear husband was my only support. Jim was the only one... more

This Love Thursday is about birthday candles! Not the normal little stick birthday candles but the number ones that proudly display the birthday boy or girl’s age. These candles have come to have special meaning to me.

Using the numbered candles is a thing that Charlie’s adoptive family does. Growing up, we just used the regular ole’ stick candles and just put however many that person was turning. I just continued doing that with Noah.

At Charlie’s first birthday party, A. had a number one candle on his birthday cake. After the party was over, she gave... more

Today is my precious Danika’s big 10th birthday! It is hard to believe that our family has shared a whole decade of watching her grow in grace and beauty. Honestly where does the time go?

Today, although her actual birthday, was also our preparation day for the family party tomorrow. We worked around the house getting ready and she was so excited to get several calls from friends, family, and birthfamily through out the day. When her little brother and sister... more

I recently had a topic request from a fellow birthmom.

”My child’s first birthday is coming up and I am having a hard time emotionally. I am afraid that his birthday will be rough. Can you suggest some things I could do or ways to take my mind off his birthday?”

I agree – birthdays are rough! I really think that no matter what you do, you are not going to be able to stop yourself from thinking of your child. It is the day you gave life to him or her and the events leading up to that momentous occasion will surely be played... more