I just attended my birth son’s seventh birthday party today. This was the first birthday party (the party that family members and friends his age are invited to) I have attended since his second birthday party.

I felt so uncomfortable and out of place at his first and second birthday parties that I decided I wouldn’t attend anymore. We decided to have a private birthday celebration each year with just Charlie, his parents, sister, and myself, my hubby, and my parented son and have been doing that ever since.

But things changed this year. Our open adoption has taken on a whole different dynamic as Charlie vocalizes his wants, needs, and desires. When he asks me to specifically... more

I really encourage you to sit down (if you are not already) and write a letter to your child each year around his or her birthday.

I actually started this Tradition with the son I am parenting. His first year of life had so many ups and downs because of medical issues stemming from his prematurity that a few days before his first birthday I sat down and wrote a letter to him briefly recapping everything that we had been through in that first year of his life. When his second birthday rolled around I did the same and it just became a tradition. I’ve put them up for... more

Gifts are a fun part of any birthday. In the beginning they were pretty stressful for me to buy because I wasn’t sure where the boundaries were with how much I could give Charlie and I put a lot of stress on myself to find that “perfect” gift. However, I have learned a few things over the years and will share those tips with you.

1. Ask your child’s parents for in put on the gift. Children’s likes and dislikes change so quickly so you will probably want to find out what your child is in to at that moment. If you will be purchasing clothes, find out what size... more

In my last post, I talked about Charlie’s upcoming seventh birthday. I mentioned that birthdays are hard each and every year but the good part is that at least I know they will be hard. Below are a few of the things that have helped me get through each birthday.

Spending time with Charlie on his birthday. I know not everyone can do this though and this will be the first year that I haven’t been able to do it. Writing a birthday letter. Each year around... more

Charlie will celebrate his seventh birthday on Saturday. I know I probably say this every year (or at least think it!) but it is so hard to believe that he is turning seven!

At times, it seems like only yesterday I was holding a tiny baby in a hospital bed preparing to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life while at other times it seems like a lifetime ago.

Most birthmothers will agree that their child’s birthday is a hard day for them. Personally speaking, in the days leading up to Charlie’s birthday are very emotional. I find myself reliving all... more

“Time by minutes slips away, First the hour, then the day, Small the daily loss appears, Yet soon it amounts to years”

- Ronald Tierney

It is hard for me to believe that another year has passed, and my youngest will be 4 years old on Thursday! The time since first holding him at 3 days old has flown by, and the tiny baby has changed and developed into quite a terrific little boy. I know that we are all looking forward to celebrating his birthday this weekend with family and friends, but a small part of me acknowledges... more

The presents are unwrapped, the candles blown out, and “Happy Birthday” was sung (twice!) and another birthday has come and gone!

As you may have noticed from the picture in my last post, I decorated my dining room area with football themed decorations and even made a football cake (that was way easier than I expected.) Charlie enjoyed all of it.

It was great to be able to see Charlie and family, spend time with them and celebrate his sixth birthday in person with him. That little boy... more

As I stand looking at my dining room decorated with football party décor and the football cake that I made myself, waiting upon the arrival of Charlie and his family, my heart is so full at the moment; a mixture of so many different emotions that it is almost hard to put it all into words, but my favorite adjective in relation to being a birthmother once again comes to mind: bittersweet.

The sweetness is being able to celebrate with Charlie and his family, being able to make his birthday cake, and decorate my... more

In continuance of my birthday series, I can’t leave out gifts! As the old saying goes it isn’t the gift itself that counts, but the thought behind the gift. While I do give Charlie age appropriate toys, I also have two gift giving traditions that sometimes require a little thought but are meaningful.

Each year on Charlie’s birthday, one of the gifts I give him (I give him a few small gifts usually) is always a book. It’s not just any old book, but a book that is special or might have special meaning to... more

Unfortunately, even with the most open adoptions sometimes you may not be able to be with your child on his or her actual birthday. So how can you honor your child while not being present with him or her?

I’m sure most of you do this anyways, but send a card and a gift. Now if you will be seeing your child a few days after his or her actual birthday then mailing the gift would be silly as you’d probably prefer to give it to your child in person and see him or her open it but you could still mail a card for him or her to have on the actual birthday and just because most kids love mail!... more