After reading another of Jenna’s great posts, I admit this one had me really thinking. Honestly this young woman has such an exceptional way with words! I really feel she won’t be at a loss for those words when her daughter needs to hear from her heart, but I could see what she was trying to express.

I have no doubt that birthparents fear that day, the day when their old enough child is able to verbalize the question that perhaps they fear the most. WHY?... more

This is the week of the county fair in my area and the excitement is beginning to build for opening festivities on Wednesday night. Along with carnival rides, animal showings, tons of funnel cakes and cotton candy, there is the Little Miss and Mr.Contest and our Cierra is entered this year.

Lately our “Little Miss” is in one of her angry and combative cycles every time we turn around though, not solid contestant material to say the least. I am thinking if they gave out a ribbon for “Miss Antagonist” she would win this one... more

“I could never do that.”

This statement makes my stomach churn every time I hear it and I’m sure there are probably some other birthmothers out there reading this, sitting at their computer desks, nodding their heads yes in unison.

First, let me clarify the context that I’m referring to in this post. I’m referring to the “I could never do that” statement in the context of being a birthmother, typically when I’ve just shared with someone who doesn’t know my story very well or at all that I am... more

After just arriving home today from a long vacation, one would think I would be rested and ready to go with may new and exciting ideas about adoption, unfortunately this is not the case. I found you can go away for however long you like, but the same tough issues still seem to travel with you. Those issues don’t especially change, and they don’t ever seem to go away. Adoption issues don't take a vacation. Apparently while I was away, this battle about the perceptions of adoption, who is right and who is wrong went on with out me. I am ok with being excluded... more

It is late here, my husband doesn’t know it, but I am thinking some crazy thoughts.

I know with all the complications were are experiencing with all our kid’s biological families you would not think this would be crossing my mind. . . but here it is creeping in there when even I least would expect it too. I am thinking about a new baby. (Ok and I am telling all of YOU first!)

Ok, now that I said that I have got it out there so I can reflect on why exactly I might be feeling that way at such an odd time (and why it isn't... more

Today was a good day at our house. My four year old Cierra had a very relaxed day and that is something we do not get to see too often. We went to church, out to lunch, and home to just hang out. No big episodes, nothing I would not consider normal or ordinary for the age. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me, because quite honestly the day in day out screaming and defiance would wear even a saint out.

We have not been going to her RAD therapy lately, partly because we are trying to locate someone closer... more

Hate is a pretty strong word, but a word that sums up some of the extreme views going around in the world of adoption today. A good part of this hate/anger develops because of the highly emotional nature of adoption. Often the feelings of those who were (or feel they were) wronged somehow involving their own adoption experience can grow out of control if they do not learn more productive coping methods. Of course we know that many people were wronged or abused concerning adoption, but there is a difference in the way that some of those people are choosing... more

One of my biggest day to day concerns has been tackling the difficult situations in our three open adoptions and making them into something positive and workable for our family. Sometimes I find myself hiding those things and then suddenly blurting something out here when it reaches a high frustration point for me. I have decided that taking those issues and talking about them and what I am doing about them on a more regular basis might make for an interesting Monday series. So each Monday I will be discussing something that has proved difficult... more

My son Noah (the one I parent, in case you are a newcomer) loves space. He loves astronauts, space shuttles, rockets, stars, planets. Basically, just about anything that has to do with space. He wants to take a vacation to the moon! He wants to take a doggie with him to the moon! He even asked for a REAL space shuttle with keys for Christmas! I don’t know how long his space obsession will last, if it will continue into his adult hood or not, but we view it as a good thing and certainly encourage it by buying him space books, toy space shuttles, t shirts with... more

I wish I had a perky post ready for today, but that just is not the way my life is currently going. My four year old has been pushing me near the brink today and right now I feel very, very alone.

A few months back we finally, after almost two years of struggling, took her to a therapist and Reactive Attachment Disorder was brought up. I had always felt that children who suffered from this were mainly those who had lived deprived of early attention in an overseas orphanage, or even severely abused children in our own foster... more