There are times when being a birthparent creeps up on me unexpectedly. While my son is never too far from my thoughts, I don’t think about adoption twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and while I am a birth mother and my role in Charlie’s life is very important to me, it’s just one of the many hats I wear. So, I’ll be minding my own business (so to speak) watching television or reading, and boom! There’s something regarding birthparents right in front of my face.

The premiere of the Beverly Hills 90210 spin off is a prime example. From what I had read about... more

A piece of me is missing. Six and a half years ago, when I made the decision to place my baby for adoption, I also gave away a piece of my heart.

At times, the hole or missing piece feels enormous. While at other times it might not feel quite as big, but it is always there. While I was making an adoption plan, I knew it was going to be difficult and I knew life would never be the same, but I didn’t realize that there would be days that my soul would literally ache for that child. I honestly somewhat bought into what others were telling me; that I would be able to move... more

The weather forecasters were predicting snow here in my part of the south but I wasn’t holding my breath as snow has been predicted many times and never come. We haven’t had snow in about two years. But low and behold, it snowed!

Needless to say, Noah was very excited when he woke up and saw all the “white stuff.” School was cancelled of course and the whole town pretty much came to a stand still because people in the south just don’t know how to cope with snow! There wasn’t really enough to do much with and by the time the sun came out today it was getting a little... more

While there are often comments that people say directly to us knowing that we are birthmothers, many times there are comments or situations that may hurt us as birthmothers that people are not intentionally directing towards us or even meanto be hurtful. No one tells you before you become a birthmother about the normal everyday conversations that may become difficult at times.

For example, J, a friend who is a birthmother was recently discussing a comment that someone made that that cut her to the core. The comment was not directed towards her and the person wasn’t intentionally being mean. She was just venting to some other ladies at church about some of the things that new mothers... more

Well fall here has finally decided to step into the place the summer has been most reluctant to vacate in a timely manner. The temperatures have dropped, and dropped fast, going from almost ninety degrees on Monday to a brisk sixty-three today. While I am not one to complain about the cooler days, I will say I would have liked a more gradual let down, so to speak.

Along with missing that slow, colorful simmer down from our hot summer into the current crisp early October, I am feeling low about missing something special that fall usually brings out for myself and my... more

Yesterday I could not post, I had my own little version of ER going on here..

My son decided to tumble down our basement stairs and booger his head up rather nicely. There was a huge amount of blood all over, and the little guy earned himself five stitches (at least they did not have to shave off any of his beautiful curls.)

Does anyone else out there believe 25 minutes waiting for an ambulance to arrive, to assist a toddler with a profusely bleeding head injury, is just way too long? I certainly did! After... more

One of the first things that prompted me to think about open adoption, was an intense feeling of respect and compassion for the birthparents of my future children. I wanted to understand what their situation was, and be open to learning about their love for the children I might be fortunate enough to welcome as my own.

Being a birthfamily member myself, an aunt to several children placed in closed adoptions, I also had an understanding of what it felt like to be set aside and discounted to some extent. I did not want to impose that feeling on another person unfairly.... more

The tooth fairy came to my home the other night leaving a crisp bill for two pearly teeth that my ten year old had proudly extracted herself. Yes my girl is TEN, almost eleven, and she still has an innocent faith in things like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and I suppose at this point, even in ME her mom.

No, I understand that I am not an imagined, childhood notion. I am a real mom. Sometimes though, when I see my children joyfully observe the customs of youth, I secretly dread the day the truth will bring an end to all that excitement. I also think about how the... more

Sometimes when I think of Charlie and I am missing him, I am especially missing the little baby newborn version of him that I spent three days with in the hospital, not the wild, rambunctious almost six year old he has become today.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t love who he is today because I do. (Lots and lots!) But those three days in the hospital, he felt like he was all “mine.” I hadn’t signed the relinquishment papers yet and I was his mother; just his mother, without the “birth” part in front of it. But then, I signed those papers and gave a... more

Jenna’s recent wedding series in the Birth/First Parent Blog and the recent marathon of wedding related television shows on the Style Network have the subject of weddings on my brain. I’m not thinking of my own wedding (although it was lovely) but I’m thinking of a wedding that will take place one day far, far in the future. I’m thinking of the day that Charlie will be all grown up and will stand before his friends, family, and God and vow his love and devotion to a beautiful bride.

I’ve... more