Adoption, even a very open adoption, often separates biological siblings. With an open arrangement trying to keep those siblings in contact, so they can form some sort of relationship, is not always a piece of cake. Sibling contact can be worth the effort, but the adults often need to put aside their own, more grown up issues in the process.

In the case of my own three children, one child has three older birth siblings, and my two other children each have younger birth siblings, two whom we know, and another who we do not. Thankfully four of those... more

In this short series on interfamily adoptions, I shared with you the story of one birthmother whose parents adopted her daughter. Today, I’d like to share the story of two sisters; one sister adopted the other sister’s baby. I recently had the opportunity to ask the birthmother in this interfamily adoption a few questions.

There are eight years between sisters M and A with A. being the... more

No I am not a birthparent. I never found myself facing the difficult decision of placing a child with another family for adoption, but I have found myself on the side of adoption loss, and unfortunatly more than once in my life. For me there was no decision afforded me, no choice in the matter, so I really do empathize with birthparents who have relinquished feeling like they had no control, I really do.

You see I am a birthfamily member, an Aunt to several children of my middle brother, all placed in closed adoptions. As awful as it is... more

One scenario of an interfamily adoption could be a situation where the grandparents are the parents, meaning one the child’s set of grandparents adopt him or her becoming his/her legal parents.

This is the case for fellow birthmother, J. Her parents adopted her daughter K, who is now ten. I had the opportunity to ask J a few questions about how their interfamily adoption is working out and will share the questions and answers with you as they provide interesting first hand insight into an interfamily adoption.

How has this interfamily adoption... more

Last Saturday our family was at Sunnen lake with grandma, grandpa, aunt and cousin. Grandma used to work for the Sunnen corporation, now retired, but for the rest of her life she has free use of the beautiful cabins at their private section of the lake. The lake also hosts the YMCA Trout Lodge, which was a special place that holds fond childhood memories for my husband and his family.

When ever grandma makes the arrangements for us to stay at the lake we are happy to be included. Sometimes... more

One form of open adoption that we do not talk about too often is interfamily adoptions. Interfamily adoptions, also known as relative adoptions, involved direct biological relatives of the child adopting the child. The family member who adopted and is raising the child could be birthmother’s sister and her husband, an aunt and uncle, or even her parents.

In many states, relative adoptions are treated less formally than non relative adoptions. Sometimes they require a shortened home study or none at all if they meet that particular state’s definition... more

In my last two posts I have written about family and adoption, more specifically how some of our family members may be hesitant in participating in your open adoption.

My parents were a little hesitant about open adoption. When I told them of my pregnancy, my Mom asked if I would receive pictures of Charlie over the years and with tears in her eyes, she asked if I would show them to her. I of course said... more

:Adoption affects not only yourself, but your entire family. Your parents are loosing the privilege of the normal Grandparent role in your child’s life. Your siblings are loosing a niece or a nephew. Yes, through open adoption they can still play some sort of role in your child’s life, but it is still not the same. Your family will experience grief and loss of their role, just as you do.

It’s nice to have our family involved in open adoption not only just for the moral support that we as birthmothers may need, but as an added extension of the birth family for... more

Siblings – aren’t they important in one’s life? Surely you have fond memories of your brother pulling your hair or your sister hogging the bathroom.

Regardless of how well you got along with your sibling(s), you were connected. Adoption can complicate that connection. Children may not really understand the connections since adoptive and birth families are unlike all the other typically families out there.

One of the reasons open adoption was so important to me is the fact that I wanted Noah and Charlie to be able to know one another and to... more

Recently my co-blogger, Deb, wrote an excellent post about having an open adoption despite disapproval from family and friends. Being a adoptive mother , Deb wrote this from an adoptive mother’s perspective, but I think that some birthparents have to deal with this as well.

Personally speaking, I think my parents were probably a little wary of the whole open adoption concept. It was foreign to them and I don’t think they understood initially the ways that it might benefit the child.... more