In my last post, I wrote about how lately I have been trying to emphasize the brotherly bond between Noah and Charlie. I have really become how aware this bond between them is lately and want to do my best to emphasize it and allow it to grow. Since they are not typical brothers growing up in the same household as many brothers do, it will take a little creative thinking in order for this bond to grow and develop on both the parts of the adoptive mom and the birthmom with the children they are each raising.

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Some where along the way, I don’t think I stopped and took enough time to explain Charlie’s role in Noah’s life to Noah. When I was pregnant with Charlie, he was barely four years old and being shuffled between my home and my parent’s home a lot. I didn’t think he would understand very much so I didn’t really explain a whole lot.

As he began to grow up, I did explain things to him in age appropriate terms and language at times when I thought he was able and ready to learn and understand. I did explain that he and Charlie shared the same mother, but I think I failed... more

The other day I was talking to my daughter’s birth great-grandma on the phone. She is having quite a few issues with the baby half-brother of my daughter, who she is raising. Of course I am concerned about them both, and I wanted to see how things are going for her. The little guy is developmentally lagging behind, although all of us are certain of his intelligence. For me the attachment/ loss issues could be a lot of what is happening and is as plain as the nose on my face. Great grandma is seeing some of it, but unfortunately not enough at this point in time. I have been... more

Yesterday was such a blur of pumpkins and hay bales that I must apologize for not having posted anything at all. A cold, blustery, busy day here, and the wind blew the blogs right out of me.

I was out all day, in 48 degree weather, in just about every pumpkin patch in the tri-county area. First from eight a.m. till eleven, we had one pumpkin patch with the three year old preschool kidlets, followed by noon till three with the kindergarten crowd at a haunted-house pumpkin farm. Two hayrides and punkin pluckings in one day seriously had me bone tired. Apparently I am not... more

My older daughter had a hilarious if not somewhat embarrassing situation at school today.

Every Wednesday they attend Chapel first thing, and today it seems that the five year old sister had slipped her big sister’s BRA into her back pack, and was showing it around during the services (ok, and I have to be even worse and blog about it on the internet!) Danika was horrified, and managed to get her teacher’s attention so she could slip over and get the offending undergarment away from the little bandit.

All I can say is thank goodness... more

It does my heart good to see pictures like this one of my boys, big brother and little brother, just being brothers! This picture was taken on Charlie’s birthday. We take a lot of pictures of them sitting together in that chair (it’s Noah’s favorite chair in our home when he is not in our wheelchair) so it’s neat to see the progression of them growing over the years as well.

I really enjoy watching them interact as brothers and as friends. They really do act like brothers many times – they will be playing together and having a great time and then next thing you know, they... more

After the most recent visits with the birth siblings of my children, I found myself reflecting back to several interesting posts here at the blogs. Most of them talked about what those of us in open... more

My everyday life today involves open adoption with the birthfamily of my three children, but often the subtleties of the relationships bring up flashbacks from my past, and the open adoption experiences that I shared growing up. That’s right, back in the 70's and early 80's, not only had some of us heard about open adoption, a few of us even were fortunate to have experienced it.

Two of my younger siblings, biological half-brothers, were adopted by my mother and stepfather at the tender ages of 3 and 4 years old. Though this was the late 70's, and well before... more

When my oldest was just a baby, and I first began coming to Adoption.com to frequent the chat room, the question I was most asked was, “what is your connection to adoption?” Basically they wanted to know how my piece fit into this puzzle they were trying to place together for themselves.

Often I limited my response to A-mom, or adoptive mother, but my experience with adoption goes far beyond just this basic tag. Although some of my life situations do not fall under the legal concept of adoption, they most certainly follow the patterns... more

Now that all three of my children have had their birthday party for this year, I have had a chance to again reflect on the gifts that they received from everyone, including those from their birthfamilies, and what extra importance often lies beyond the fancy wrapping paper. Of course the kids love a ton of presents and toys, but I guess I wish everyone would consider giving something of more substance than cheap trinkets, and dollar store toys, especially their birthfamilies. To me this is a real missed opportunity to avoid some future trauma and... more