Ok, If you have not figured it out from the picture, here goes. . .

Have you ever had someone with whom you have such a unique connection that it’s just so hard to put into words?

Well I do.

I can’t tell you who it is, you’ll have to guess, but what I can share is how important that this person is to me.

To begin with whenever I am stressed about something just hearing from them can help me relax and often laugh. Just taking a moment to say hello or comment they help turn my day around. I have questions, they... more

I’m wrapping up my support network series, but I have really enjoyed writing it and being able to recognize and honor some of the most supportive people in my life. In this series, I have shared with you ways to build your support network, tips to share with the people in your support network, and the personal stories of my own support network that consists of old... more

In my support network series, I have talked about the support of old friends. I also am lucky to have the support of new friends, but want to focus on one in particular today.

The days, weeks, and months after relinquishment can be some of the toughest times in dealing with adoption. As you have read, I had good, supportive friends and family members to talk with after relinquishment. But they just didn’t “get it.” With none of them being birthmothers, they could only try to understand and sympathize.

Late one night, I was home alone with a... more

In continuation with my support network series, I’ll share about the support of another person in my support network.

An unexpected support person was my now niece Holly. At the time, I wasn’t married, so she was just my boyfriend’s niece. She was a senior in high school at the time. Holly and I became close while I was dating J and still are close. We have more of a sisterly relationship than aunt/niece.

Before Charlie was born, we never really talked about adoption much or the fact that I was placing Charlie. She knew that I was making... more

Back to the regularly scheduled programming.....

I continue my series on support networks. During my pregnancy and especially the hospital stay, two of my old friends were really there for me.

I had been friends with Jeni and Hilary for years. Jeni and I went way back to high school. There were days in high school that we were inseparable. Then we ended up living a few blocks apart. We got interested in politics and attended a few rallies and town meetings together. Jeni got pregnant with her daughter and I was there at the hospital... more

As birthmothers we all need support. And sometimes our husbands or significant others can be a good support system. Let me tell you about mine...

I met my now husband, J, while I was pregnant, only I didn’t yet know that I was pregnant. (Didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was five and half months along) When I found out how far along I was, I tried to break up with J so I could figure out what to do on my own. But he wouldn’t stand for it.

He wasn’t pushy or anything – he just said that we had something special and he would stick by me. I didn’t... more

We, as birthmothers, know that you do love us and you do want to be supportive and be there for us but sometimes you are at a loss as what is the right thing to say or do. Below are some suggestions of positive ways you can support the birthmom in your life.

The Do’s:

Support and honor her motherhood. Recognize the fact that even though she is not parenting her child, she still is a mother. Think of her and show your love for her on the tough days through out the year. Mother’s Day and her child’s birthday are two... more

As we’ve been talking in our support network series, our friends and family really truly want to be supportive most of the time. They really do want to do and say the right thing but they are probably unsure as to what the right thing to say and do is.

As I mentioned in the previous post we should educate them about adoption, about the correct terms used in adoption, and about our thoughts and feelings.

Below are some tips you can pass along to friends and family members. Send them... more

In an earlier post we talked about the importance of building a support network and discussed having other birthmothers in that support network.

But you also need people who are not birthmothers and who do not have a connection to adoption. People who can see the big picture that we may fail to see since we are so emotionally involved. People who knew you before you became a birthmother. People who are involved in your day to day life. People like your friends and family members!

Yes,... more

It’s important to have a support network of people to lean on in your times of need. Most of us have at least one person, whether it is a friend or family member that we typically turn to when we need support. There will be little moments through out your life that you will need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen as you forever deal with being a birthmother. You’ll need someone to lean on your child’s birthdays, Mother’s Day, when you deal with annoying comments, when you see a child that reminds you of your own, etc.

Over the next few days, I will... more