In my last post, I wrote about supporting friends that are birthmothers. But you may have a friend or friends who are pregnant and considering adoption that you are supporting as well.

It’s so nice for women pregnant and considering adoption to have a birthmother to share her experiences with. If she ultimately decides to place her baby for adoption, you are still able to support her through out the pregnancy. It’s helpful for her to have someone who understands the emotional... more

If you have become an active member of the adoption community, you probably have some friends who are birthmothers.

Having friends that are birthmothers is nice because you each can be there to support one another through the emotional rollercoaster that open adoption is. When you are having a rough time emotionally, your friend can be a shoulder to lean on for you and vice versa for her when she is going through emotional times.

What are some things you can do to support other birthmother friends? 1. Think about what you want, need, and expect from... more

I always find it interesting when our family is out and about together that I almost always have someone, out of nowhere, approach me with an open wallet.

Before you think I am getting any cash gifts from total strangers, you should know that these people are opening the photo section of their wallets to me, sharing pictures of their children or grandchildren.

It never fails that someone sees our trans-racial family in public, and they immediately connect because they too have African American family members. I think this instant, intimate... more

I found this old, rather interesting postcard picture the other day, and initially I thought it had something to do with adoption. The picture, from 1913, is in fact a political satire about the current, moral issues of the time. The “Col. Roastwell” refers to President Theodore Roosevelt, and the artwork speaks to his favoring of immigration and large families. Some also attribute the comical drawing to the very real issues of oppression and human rights, in relation to immigrants, former slaves, and women. Obviously people also did not like immigration... more

I’ve mentioned how much I enjoy being with other birthmothers and how to find a live support group locally, but what do you do when there is not a support group in your area?

You can consider starting one! The task may seem daunting, but I’ve broken it up into some simple steps listed below.

These tips would work for creating a support group for any member group of... more

In my recent posts, I have shared my personal story of finding support as well as online resources for you to find support. While online support is convenient, un-intimidating, and great, nothing beats the connection and intimacy of meeting another triad member like you face to face. Live support groups are a great place to meet other triad members.

There are different... more

In my last post, I wrote about my personal story of finding another birthmother to support me in my new journey of birthmotherhood. It took a little searching, but I was able to find Lani pretty early on in the process.

The good thing about online support is it is not intimidating and a good way to get a feel for the adoption world. If you are a new to the adoption triad, are “coming out of the closest” about your position in the triad, or have not felt comfortable... more

As a member of the adoption triad, we all need support and others who have experienced or are experiencing the same things we are experiencing. Personally speaking, my family and friends try very hard to be supportive but no one truly gets it as a birthmom does.

I realized this just days after coming home from the hospital after giving birth to and relinquishing Charlie. My friends and family tried so hard to support me but they just didn’t truly understand the feelings I was experiencing.

Sleepless, alone, and desperate one night in those... more

This picture is of another birthmom, J, and I. It was taken at our Birthmother’s Day Event recently. I don’t get much time to sit down and enjoy myself at our events. I’m usually up getting things ready for what comes next even when someone is speaking or something else is going on.

While Rebekah, one of our speakers was speaking, I sat down next to J for a few minutes. I’ve known J for over a year online, but this was the first time I have actually met... more

At our Birthmother’s events, we always have a candlelight ceremony. I originally thought this idea was a little weird. I thought that candlelight ceremonies were typically held as vigils for children or people who were missing or dead and since I knew exactly where my son was the idea of a candle light ceremony to me was a little off.

But after some research and thinking, I came around to the idea. In my research I found that candle light ceremonies originally began to honor men as they came home from the war. Candle light ceremonies have come to represent... more