In my previous post, I discussed ways birth parents could share their traveling experiences with their child. On the flip side, adoptive parents may wish to share their traveling experiences with their child’s birthmother.

I love to hear about Charlie’s travels. I am glad that S and A are able to take him neat places. Sure, hearing about them does make me a little sad that I wasn’t able to experience things with him, but it also makes me happy that Charlie has these opportunities.... more

Most of us have heard about postpartum depression. The hormones at work in a woman’s body after she gives birth are very powerful and can cause extreme emotions and often a sort of “surge” of depression known as postpartum depression. This depression is treatable and often the mother is feeling more herself in a relatively short amount of time.

When parents adopt a child they do not really ever expect to go through similar depression because the have not gone through an actual, physical pregnancy, but research is beginning to show that... more

While talking to our kids about their adoption experience can be a time to connect and discover how their little minds are processing things, there can also be some tough stuff in adoption we will need to explain as well.

Explaining some difficult things that perhaps led up to an adoptive placement is one example. Knowing how to speak to your child about situations that were at play in their birthparent’s life that precipitated an adoption is hard and needs to be addressed with care for how the explanations will effect the child’s self esteem.... more

My almost ten year old just returned from Girl Scout camp today. She had a great time! I went to pick her up, I just love those times because it seems like we have some of the best conversations about what is going on in her life, and often adoption is part of that conversation. Today was just such a time and we talked at length about adoption and her feelings about being an adopted person. Then suddenly she had a light bulb moment, she asked if she could share some information with adoptive parents about being adopted and I thought that was... more

There are often many things around us that we as adoptive moms can use to help ourselves find our way through the more challenging moments of our adoption experience. Some days I know that I forget to slow down and smell the roses so to speak, and to just enjoy my family and the life that I have. When times get difficult we can either become absorbed in the emotions of it all, or we can choose to take a step back and re-focus on what we really value and have been blessed with. For those who might be having a difficult time trying to focus (as I often... more

Mommy?

Yes honey. . .

You dopted me so that I was going to be taken care of right? So R could not take care of me cause she was getting into trouble but she did not think that I would get into trouble with you right?

Well I think she knew you would be taken care of. . .

So she was scared I would get into trouble with her?

I think she wanted you to be taken care of, I am not sure she thought she would be able to. . .

But... more

Lots of readers have been emailing me lately with topic requests. I am loving it, so keep it coming!

One adoptive mother recently asked:

”We are in a semi open adoption with our child’s birthmother and send her pictures every other month. I am wondering if we should send pictures of our daughter with ourselves and other family members or just send pictures of our daughter only. Also, I was going to write things on the back of the photo if there is a little story about something going on in the picture. Is that a good idea? I don’t want... more

Recently I received a copy of a really touching book written by Patricia Dischler about her own experience as a birthmother. Dischler placed her son for adoption in 1984 in what began as a semi-open arrangement (ground breaking at the time) and later on evolved into a fully open adoption.

This engaging story begins before Dischler’s son is even conceived. She is a newly independent young lady with a start on a successful printing business and living on her own when things began to take a turn in her life. An emotional breakup with her long time... more

Tomorrow I am supposed to be the librarian at my daughter’s school, it’s about the only thing that I really “do” anymore around other mommy-parent type people. I just never seem to “click” (and I do mean click baby) with any other mom types out there, so in effect I have just given up.

Honestly I am not quite sure why I get the long strange looks as the other moms take a few steps back from my approach. Why is it a big blank stare and no reply to my endless chirping of “Where did you find that?” Or “ How does your daughter/son respond to this?”... more

We read a lot about adoptive moms and birthmoms and the differences amongst the two types of mothers. While there are differences, I see a lot of similarities too.

As with any diverse group of women nowadays, we will have differences, but we have many similarities as well. We both know pain. Although the pain is caused by different reasons, at different times, and because of different circumstances, we do know pain. We both cry for the children we do not have. Again, at different times and for different circumstances, but adoptive mothers cry for the children... more