I shall be called by a new name, embraced by a fresh pair of arms, but I shall come and go, the eternal me. --- Rabindranath Tagore

I remember when we welcomed home our first daughter, feeling mesmerized with wonder about all the possibilities of who, over time, she would reveal herself to be. I loved thinking about how those tiniest of personality traits, and qualities may already be budding and developing. It was our new job to uncover and nurture those innate qualities... more

School will be starting here next week, although we are not quite ready. There are supplies to be purchased, clothing to be bought, and backpacks to be packed with everything they will need. This year even my BABY will be in preschool two mornings a week, and I am feeling overwhelmed by many feelings connected with this season in our lives.

This also marks the end of the first year of my having left the workforce. I left a job of eight years at that same school last fall, to be a stay home mom. It has been a difficult transition... more

After reading another of Jenna’s great posts, I admit this one had me really thinking. Honestly this young woman has such an exceptional way with words! I really feel she won’t be at a loss for those words when her daughter needs to hear from her heart, but I could see what she was trying to express.

I have no doubt that birthparents fear that day, the day when their old enough child is able to verbalize the question that perhaps they fear the most. WHY?... more

“Are you afraid of the role you played in this loss?”

-Ann, Lili Taylor of Lifetime's "State Of Mind"

This is what I encountered while flipping through channels late at night, searching for something to help keep my eyes open just a bit longer. Boy did that open my eyes.

Lifetime’s new show “State Of Mind” staring Lili Taylor, aired a particularly interesting episode (only the show’s 4th) centering on a birthmother’s quest to locate her now 13... more

Every one of us has our difficult times with complex relationships, adoptive moms are certainly no different from anyone else in this respect. There are times when we all need to step back, re-group, and find a fresher perspective to help us get past the tough times that we might find ourselves mired down by. Many adoptive mothers could tell you, adoption definitely has tough times! If we just allow all the emotions of the situation to carry us away, it becomes harder and harder to stay focused and remember what it is that we value in our relationships.

In... more

Recently, Heather refreshed the memory of her readers, by clearly sharing her core views about adoption. For those who might be a bit “hard of reading”, they were in bold so the point could be easily grasped. I was not surprised by anything there, her views have remained the same as they were years ago when she wrote a publication for the organization C.U.B., “What you should know if you are considering adoption for your baby”.

At... more

My co-blogger Coley, who also writes for the crisis pregnancy blog, recently did a great post concerning a birthparent view of things a expectant mother should consider before making an adoption plan. Some really great advice! I agree with her wisdom and perspective. While reading this post though, I began thinking how many of those same things could be slightly adjusted and addressed to potential adoptive... more

Many hopeful adoptive parents rule out the option of open adoption before they begin. Often the fear of emotional challenges that could present themselves in an open adoption can appear overwhelming to them. While openness in an adoption might not ideally be possible for every situation, are there ways for more adoptive parents to truly consider it?

It is clear that there can be certain obvious benefits to a family of adoption when they have a positive, open relationship with birthparents. As with any new relationship, it can be a frightening... more

Recently an adoptive mother asked if she should do anything for her child’s birthmother for the upcoming Mother’s Day weekend and if so, which day, Birthmother’s Day or Mother’s Day?

I definitely think any adoptive mother partaking in an open adoption should try and acknowledge her child’s birthmother for Mother’s Day. Why? Because she is important to your child! She is your child’s first mother and she (in most cases) lovingly made a decision to place her child for adoption because for whatever reason she could not care for the child at that... more

Recently I received an email from an adoptive mom in a semi open adoption. She was asking for advice on what kind of things to include in the update letters she sends to her child’s birthmother as well as what type of photos to send.

Letters The update letters an adoptive parent sends to a birthmom mean a lot to her so please take your time writing us a letter. Don’t scribble a quick note as you run out the door to the post office. Take a bit of time and sit down and write that letter.

Below are a few things that we love to... more