Most of my posts have been about how great my kids are (they are), how challenging, but rewarding knowing their birthparents can be, and all those interesting little things about being a family by way of adoption. I realize now that I have forgotten to talk about one of the most important people in this whole story, The Good Guy who is my husband Jim.

When we first married eighteen (oh my gosh! How long?) years ago, the story of our future together was anybody’s guess. Of course we were in love, but many predicted that this “kind”... more

Here I am, stuck at home in the Midwest buried under about a foot of ice. Plenty of time to think today, and what a day to be doing your thinking.

Today is also the birthday of a man I have admired all my life, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Growing up in the home I did I often wonder how my admiration even occurred. My father was no believer in civil rights, not by a long shot, so he never taught it to me. That is part of the reason we never got along and I have not seen him in many years. Yet somehow despite that I have always been... more

Continued from part Four

We took this beautiful baby girl we named Danika home. There was a bittersweet feeling to that long awaited moment, knowing what had happened with L to bring this all about. We know we were not responsible for some of the things that put her in a place to make an adoption plan, but still it is easy to feel responsible when you have the child. We had all promised to stay in contact, but early on she wrote to say that she would... more

Continued from part Three The next morning the grandparents arrived with the youngest of the three older siblings. They were friendly and pleasant as they asked us questions about our family, work, and desire to become parents. Their grandson, a handsome four year old played quietly with the toys we had in a basket for our nieces and nephews. They explained to us the basics of why they felt they could not take an additional child and their knowledge... more

If you have read part One and Two in this series, you will probably notice that they more about explaining the details of the independent process and well maybe even a little dry in the read. I tried to be detail oriented on purpose, mainly because when I talk of my own experience there are things we did not do right or could have done better. The first two sections were really just to show how... more

Continued from Part One...

Never during the process should potential adoptive parents be offering gifts or money to encourage a mother to place her baby, or to select them to adopt. If it is apparent a woman is in need of things like food, shelter, help with expenses, it is best to have a list of helpful resources available to give her. These places can be contact information for pregnancy assistance centers, food pantries, WIC offices, and housing assistance programs. The... more

In this series of posts I would like to talk about what independent, or non-agency adoption can involve. I will also briefly profile one of our own three journeys through adopting independently.

Many adopting parents for various reasons consider Independent adoption. This type of adoption involves locating a potential birthmother and/or birthfamily through your own searching and then approaching an attorney to assist with the legal aspects if everyone agrees to move toward an adoption plan. Usually a child placing agency is NOT involved and... more

Whatever your custom for celebrating the new year, I bet we have a few things in common. With the start of a fresh year I seem to feel better able to let go of the previous year struggles and look forward to a new lease on life.

Hello to everyone. My name is Deb. This new year’s day is the start of my new adventure as a blogger here. I am quite happy about it, downright excited! To start things off right I’ll share a bit about myself.

My husband Jim and I have been married since 1989 and I am an adoptive mom of three children, Danika(age... more