In a recent post I was recanting some of my experience with adoption related hate groups online. It is very sad that so many people out there take the hurt and pain that they have experienced and use it as an excuse to criticize and harass others, but it happens. While I used my other post to talk about what happened to me and what I think causes some people to act out anger in that manner, today I wanted to talk about what I personally have done to turn this negative experience into... more

Today was a good day at our house. My four year old Cierra had a very relaxed day and that is something we do not get to see too often. We went to church, out to lunch, and home to just hang out. No big episodes, nothing I would not consider normal or ordinary for the age. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me, because quite honestly the day in day out screaming and defiance would wear even a saint out.

We have not been going to her RAD therapy lately, partly because we are trying to locate someone closer... more

I received a great email from an old friend the other day! My friend B whom I have not seen in many years, but I remember well some of our many experiences together, one of them being twenty years ago this month around the time that she gave birth to a son whom she placed for adoption. In our emails we talked about the “crazy” time when she was nine months (and thankfully holding) pregnant and we drove an eight hour round trip to go pick up another friend from college. Wow, I still can’t believe that we did that, and that I did not end... more

One of my biggest day to day concerns has been tackling the difficult situations in our three open adoptions and making them into something positive and workable for our family. Sometimes I find myself hiding those things and then suddenly blurting something out here when it reaches a high frustration point for me. I have decided that taking those issues and talking about them and what I am doing about them on a more regular basis might make for an interesting Monday series. So each Monday I will be discussing something that has proved difficult... more

Continued from Part Two

The transracial couple I knew of did everything to prepare for the possibility of adopting and very quickly, so what went wrong? Well suddenly after the birth of the baby they were told that the mother had changed her mind about placement and would be parenting. They were disappointed, but that happens and they understood. It was only later when speaking to the mutual friend (the one who was going to be the foster... more

Continued form Part One

The referral director was cold in tone when she explained that the birth mother had selected another family. How could that be? It was odd that the referral director called us at precisely the time that the potential birthmom had agreed to call me, or was it? Honestly we had many irons in the fire to locate a situation so we put this aside and forged forward and with good results. We located our second daughter’s... more

You can hear a lot lately in the world of adoption about women, many not even expectant mothers at all, posing as potential birthparents in order to scam hopeful adoptive couples. You might even have heard about adoptive couples who scam young women posing as prepared and screened when they are in fact not approved for adoption and want to conduct matters under the radar of proper adoption laws. How much however have you heard about adoption agencies and other seeming “professionals” becoming the actual scam artists? While there do not appear to be many... more

Yesterday was my birthday and my husband and I took an afternoon away from the kids to celebrate. We went out to do some shopping (my favorite thing not his) and we went out to eat.

Even when we are not together my children are always on my mind, and with them I also find myself thinking of their birthfamilies. Most of the purchases I made were baby items for my son Carson’s birthmother who is expecting a new baby in May. Since I do not know if this will be a boy or a girl I found some really cute things in yellow and green. We bought the softest... more

Well today is my last day at forty. Tomorrow I enter into the “ish” part of forty- ish. Can you tell I am less than excited? I mean it took me the better part of my 40th year just to get used to the 4 -0! I finally made my peace because I reasoned at least it was a number that could be divided evenly, and I am not even a mathematically interested person. This was the best I could do. Some days I wonder if I will make it through the ages and stages of my own, while still parenting my young children through theirs.

Sandra over at... more

Today the rain is coming down, the sky grey and somber. I am so tired of cold drab days and am so very ready for spring to arrive. While I know that the rain today is preparing the earth for that burst of life I so desperately want to see, it is hard none the less to sit here today in this dark, dreary place.

Some days I find myself sitting, waiting and thinking about a more “beautiful spring” in the world of adoption as well. The days when the sky is over cast and dark are many in this poorly understood and isolating corner of the human... more