Summer time is an ideal time for visits for some of those participating in open adoptions. Kids are out of school. The weather is usually nice; hot but sunny and a prime time for doing things outdoors. If you haven’t made plans for your summer visits, do so now! The leaves will be falling again before you know it!

Below are some ideas for summer visits but as always keep in mind that some of the ideas will vary depending on exactly how open your adoption is, the type of relationship you have with your child’s adoptive parents, the leeway you have... more

Each visit with my birth son or each time I talk to him on the phone, he asks me more questions. I must admit that the first time he ever asked me an adoption related question I was unprepared! I was expecting these questions to come during the tween and teen years. I guess I forget how advanced typical children are nowadays. I stammered answering that first question and almost messed up for a second. I really was shocked as it was so unexpected! But luckily, I took a second, thought, and answered him openly and honestly.

So, at some point in our child’s life,... more

As I’ve mentioned before, I love music and can often times here a song and relate to it in some way, shape, or form. The lyrics of songs can cheer me up, make me feel happy or sad, make me feel less alone, or remind me of a particular moment in my life. Often times for me, it isn’t the whole song I relate to but a particular verse, the chorus, or sometimes even just one particular line or phrase. Sometimes I can hear a song repeatedly before it may touch me.

As I was recently... more

It’s summer time which for a lot of people equals vacation and traveling time. When I’m on vacation, as a birthmother, my thoughts often drift off to Charlie. If we are doing something neat I’ll wonder if he has ever done that before or would he like it. I try not to think these thoughts too much as I like to enjoy my vacation. However, I still think about him.

Below are a few ideas of things I do to “include” my birth son in our vacation.

Mail him a post card. I try to buy a cool post card somewhere that we are visiting... more

In the past few weeks I have seen several articles about birthmothers and adoption. Like most articles I read that pertain to birthmothers and adoption, there are positive points, points I liked, as well as points that made me cringe and points I thought they could have left out but overall I think these articles are pretty good.

I thought I’d highlight a few of those articles and the positive points here.

... more

In my last post I wrote about the BirthMom Buds event held at the beginning of May. In that post, I briefly mentioned that we had two speakers talk about how birthmothers and adoption had changed and touched their lives.

One of the speakers was Justin, a fifteen year old adoptee. So many of the things he said resonated with me and touched me so I thought I’d share them with my readers.

Justin was adopted at birth and told us that he always knew he was adopted although it didn’t start to really click as to what being adopted meant until he was middle school age.

Justin... more

At the beginning of May, BirthMom Buds hosted our fifth annual get together for birthmothers in Charlotte, North Carolina. Our theme this year was The Road Less Traveled.

We started the morning off with welcomes and introductions. Then we played a neat game called speed friendship that I learned from another blogger. We moved onto our breakout sessions in which the ladies could learn about challenges that come up in every day conversation as... more

For many birthmothers, Mother’s Day weekend is one of the hardest times of the year. You are not alone – Mother’s Day is a hard time of the year for many other Mothers as well such as Mothers who have had miscarriages or mothers whose children have died.

As birthmothers, some of us may we feel that we can’t celebrate with all the other mothers because our children are not with us. I know I feel this way sometimes in regards to Charlie. But I believe that although we are not parenting our children, we put their needs first when we made the decision... more

It’s upsetting when a visit is cancelled but it does happen. You know how life is – kids get sick, parents get sick, you can’t get off work, emotional issues arrive, things pop up - life can be hectic and crazy so there are going to be times in an open adoption in which visits may have to be cancelled.

In the past seven years, we’ve only had to cancel visits a few times and I know that A understands (and vice versa if she is the one doing the cancelling), but I always feel guilty when I am the one doing the cancelling.... more

Life gets busy. We all know that. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle of every day lives with work, family, friends, home life, church, other activities, and so much more. Sometimes I feel like I barely have five minutes to myself during the day and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Given the hectic schedule of life, sometimes a bit of time will pass before I hear from Charlie and his family. When Charlie was still young and we were in the beginning stages of our open adoption relationship and time passed before I heard from... more